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Rearranged Jokes

“Feeling strange, Mr. Bond? That’s because I’ve laced your martini with a measles vaccine. The autism should be setting in any second now.”

“Joke’s on you, I already disassembled your doomsday device and rearranged all the parts in order of size.”

I rearranged all the wrenches in my Dad's toolbox.

Nobody expects the spanners switch position!

I rearranged my keyboard today

Now everything's under Control

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Someone in my apartment rearranged all of the buttons on the elevator

That was wrong on so many levels

Why did the alphabet smell so bad after its letters were rearranged?

Because it had a vowel movement.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One night, the stars had rearranged in the sky

to say "Hello!" The people of Earth were in awe and could not believe their eyes. They all collaborated by turning some lights off and keeping some on. When arranged it said "Welcome. We come in peace" The next night the stars began rearranging again. When finished, they read "Go fuck yourselves ear...

How do parents punish their blind child?

They rearranged the furniture.

Mama, how did I get my name?

(USA-centric)

"Mama, how did I get my name?"

"Why do you need to know, Loquinda?"

"It's for my homework."

"Well, I was staying at a LaQuinta Inn the night you were conceived. So I just rearranged the letters a bit to make a pretty name."

"Oh. That's cool. How did m...

Stevie Wonder cheated on his wife.

So she rearranged all the furniture at the house.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do articles by the Washington Post always elicit shock and surprise?

Well, they wanted to be called “Town Gasp: No Shit!” Until management rearranged the spelling to be less offensive.

How did Helen Keller get punished?

Her mom rearranged the living room

Indian wedding

My girlfriend had to go to a wedding. I asked her whose wedding, and she told me that her friend, who is Indian, parents got divorced and now her dad is getting married for the second time. So asked her "Is it a rearranged marriage?"

A dying man

A man is driving to meet a friend at her house, a pretty girl whom he has a crush on. He plans to ask her on a date. He's having second thoughts and is beyond nervous. Suddenly, an 18-wheeler slams into the side of his car, totalling it and nearly killing him.

Around the operating table, surg...

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