UPJOKE
bigpleasedarroganthaughtyloftyprideimpressivegreatpridefulgladgratefulhappywonderfulrespectedillustrious

Proudest Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An American spy is in Soviet Russia, digging up information on a powerful Russian politician. He finds him in a bar, walks in dressed in Russian attire, pretending to be Russian. Everybody in the bar looks at him, but he keeps his cool. He orders a drink and walks to the politician...

"Greetings, comrade." says the spy, but before he could finish his sentence, the Russian says, "I think you are American spy."

The spy is alarmed, but being a skilled, trained, spy, he says, "That is not true! I am the proudest Soviet there is! I can sing the anthem more beautifully than any ...

Prisoners are some of the proudest people out there

They've got an unrivalled sense of conviction

(My mother's proudest creation) What do you call it when you lobotomize terrorists?

Simplifying Radicals.


Yes, she's a math teacher.

What is the proudest body part?

the veins

One of my proudest memories as a father was the day I got to cut the cord...

Needless to say my son won’t be bungee jumping again.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

As you grow up, your top proud moment in life is when you can ride your bike without holding onto any handlebars. Your next proudest moment is when...

you can stick your dick in without using any hands. It gets second place because you can't shout out, "Look ma, no hands!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A group of Native Americans are sitting around a campfire

A young brave asks the others, "When will I be given a name?"

"When you distinguish yourself in the tribe," answers Thundering Buffalo.

"Then the elders will recognize you with a name," says Rides By Moonlight.

"It is the proudest moment of a young brave's life," says Silent Wol...

Yesterday I was very drunk. 2 hours later, I came to my senses.

Not my proudest nut, tbh.

I just won 10 million dollars from a lottery ticket. I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.

Those were the proudest 25 cents I ever donated.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A tourist walks into a bar.

He asks for an Irishman named Seamus. The bartender points to an old man in the back, staring out the window and nursing a pint.

The tourist takes a seat next to Seamus. "Is it true, what they say about you?" He offers the old man a fresh pint.

Seamus smiles at the man, then curls back...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An American spy is drinking in a Soviet bar.

He is hoping for a politician to come and get drunk, so that he can steal secret Soviet intel.

All of a sudden, a Russian man walks up to him and says: "You! It is clear that you are a Western spy!"

The spy keeps his cool, he was trained for this. He speaks to the man in perfect Russia...

An Italian fella

Big Lorenzo, an Italian fella, is bragging to his friends about his sons: "I'ma so prouda my oldest son. He maka fifty thousand dollar evra year. Hesa Engineer!" "I even more prouda ma second son. He maka five hundred thousand dollar a year. Hesa Doctor!" "But, I'ma da proudest a ma youngest son. He...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.