Moishe Cohen and his wife Sarah were married for 50 years. Then one day, sadly, Sarah passes away of natural causes...

Moishe wants to put an obituary in the newspaper and calls up the office.
“Yes, I’d like it to say just that: SARAH DIED. I thought people should know.”

The person on the phone, his heart breaks. The poor man’s wife of 50 years!...
“Mr. Cohen, I’m so, so sorry. Are you *sure* that’s al...

Three friends die and reach the gates of Heaven

Three friends named John, Mike and Nick die and reach the gates of Heaven. There they meet St. Peter,he calls the first man, John, and says:"John, as I can see you have never cheated on your wife so take this Lamborghini to cruise around Heaven forever! John happily takes the car and goes to Heaven....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three guys go to heaven

St Peter at the gate greets them and says ‘Alright. We’ve just built some new roads up here and we need to get you each a car. Depending on how faithful you were to your wives will determine the quality of the car. Sound good?’
1st Guy: ‘I was happily married thirty years with my wife and never c...

Three guys arrive at the pearly gates, and St. Peter decides which vehicle to give them.

“Heaven is a big place,” he says. “You’ll need something to get around. What I give you is based on how well you treated your marriage on Earth.”

The first guy says, “Marriage was difficult for me. We both had affairs and eventually got divorced after 10 years. But I still tried to live a goo...

An old lady decides to check on his 3 son-in-laws

She wanted to see who respects/cares for her the most. She goes to the lake near the eldest son-in-laws place and jumps. The son-in-law dives in and rescues her. Next day, he sees a toyota corolla parked in front of his house with a letter -- Thanks from your Mother-in-law.


Then she goes ...

Three man dies and goes to heaven..

Three man dies and goes to heaven where it has been decreed that to each will be given a vehicle to use in heaven according to their deeds.

First man arrives and St. Peter asks "How long were you married for?"

"20 years" answered the first man.

"And how many times did you cheat...

Car analogies

are the Toyota Corollas of linguistic comparisons.

Which car will you get in heaven?

Three guys are standing in heaven, their names are Greg, James, and Tony. They are at a car dealership, and an angel asks them "were you faithful to your wives?" Greg answers "yes, I never cheated on my wife." He is given a new Lamborghini. The angel then asks James if he ever cheated on his wife. H...

A jewish man's wife dies

So he decides to place an obituary in the newspaper, and phones their agent.

"Just put 'Sarah died' in the paper."

"But Sir, for the same money of only one line, you can add another four words!"

"Oh. Let me think about that.."

He phones back a few minutes later and says...

Three men died and went to heaven...

... and met St. Peter at the pearly gates, who was explaining a new reward system to the newcomers. Each person who made it to heaven would receive a vehicle, the quality of which would be determined by how faithful they were to their spouses on Earth. The first man had his fair share of adulterous ...

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