This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A male praying mantis sees a hot praying mantis at the bar

"Hey girl... you want go back to my place?"

"fuck off!"

"OK, woman, no need for you to bite my head off...unless you want to."

What did the praying mantis say after impregnating his wife?

Ugh she's going to kill me

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Fun fact: When a praying mantis gets laid, the male is the one giving head to the female.

Still though, it was the best sex of his life.

What’s the common point between a man and a male praying mantis?

No head after marriage.

The female Praying Mantis devours the male right after mating.

It’s easier to collect life insurance than child support.

Although the cannibalism of the praying mantis may seem severe, it is thankfully brief. In other species, the female will slowly suck the life out of her partner over a period of decades.

This process is commonly called marriage.

What foreplay does the praying mantis girlfriend enjoys ?

Being given head.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

On the sixth day

**ON THE SIXTH DAY... **

**God Creating Spiders**

God: Make it have 8 legs

Angel: Seems excessive but OK

God: And 8 eyes

Angel: You need to calm down a li-

God: Give it a bum rope

**God Creating Kittens**

God: make them fluffy & adorable li...

“Take out” could mean food, dating, or murder.

If you’re a praying mantis, it means all three at the same time.

Praying mantises don't all follow the same religion.

They're in sects.

Attractive. Brainy. Romantic. Faithful. Makes good food. Gives great head.

-- Online dating profile of a male praying mantis.

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