What was Micheal Jacksons favourite chord to play around with?

A Minor.

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Play around

So corporate exec Joe is flying across the Pacific, when his plane crashes. Joe survives, but finds himself stranded on a desert island, with nothing to eat but coconuts, and whatever seafood he can catch. 10 years go by, with poor Joe having no human contact. One day, as Joe is fishing for his dinn...

A young mother was trying to breastfeed her 2 years old crying baby on a bus on her way home.

''Oh John, come on. Not now! If you
don't open your mouth ..." She glanced at an old man sitting right next to her and whispered under her breath ''I will nurse the old man!"

But the baby kept crying and whining.

''John. Stop crying. Or I'll nurse the old man! Now open your mouth!"...

A prosthetic technician got bored one afternoon...

Sitting at his desk while working on a replacement ear for a patient, the technician decided to play around with the molds and shapes.

Finding entertainment in making small animals, his supervisor arrived to inspect his progress.

The technician asked, "what do you think about my litt...

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A dude gets stranded on a deserted isle all alone....

Six months later, a woman walks out of the ocean in a wet suit. She's gorgeous.

She strolls up and says, "Want a scotch on ice?"

The guy is dumbfounded and nods yes.

She unzips the wet suit a little and pulls out a flask, ice and a glass. She makes a Walker over ice.

She ...

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Bob goes to the zoo

One day, Bob decided to go to the zoo. When he got to the ape cage, he found himself looking at a big male ape, who was staring right back at him. When he scratched his head, so did the ape.

Noticing this, Bob decided to have some fun. So he started to scratch under his arms and jump aro...

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all die and end up at the Pearly Gates...

St. Peter welcomes them all in.

He says, as per standard Heaven protocol, for your first 100 years you get one of anything you like, unlimited, with no consequences.

The Englishman says "Well I really like sex, can I have 200 horny 18 year old stunners to play around with?". St.Peter...

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Shipwrecked

So a guy is involved in a shipwreck, and manages to swim to a deserted island. He's there for three years, living on coconuts and crabs.

Then one day a barrel floats ashore. The top pops off the barrel, and a woman climbs out.

"Oh my god!" says the guy.

"Wow," says the woman. "I...

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An Irishman has been shipwrecked and stranded on an island for over 20 years. [MEDIUM]

One day, on his daily walk of the beach, he sees something way out in the ocean. At first he couldn’t make out what it was, as it got closer, he could see something red.

Finally, it was close enough to determine that the red was actually the hair of a woman. A very pretty dame in her 20s. ...

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A man and a woman were fooling around. She pulls his pants down, and taken aback, asks “Why do you have ‘Shorty’ tattooed on your penis?”

“Oh you don’t understand,” says the man. “If you play around with it a little bit it says ‘Shorty’s Sinclair Service Station, Chattanooga, Tennessee.’”

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A young couple is walking in the zoo

as they suddenly stop in front of a gorilla figure. The gorilla stares at the young woman and turns to the bars to get a better view. The husband says, "Hey, he seems to be on you."

The young woman laughs and starts to play around with her blouse. The gorilla starts drooling and his DingDong...

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A Brit walks into a bar in Mississippi.

The bartender, taking note of the man's rather non-local appearance, shook his head and handed the man a beer - he didn't want to be at the butt-end of some lame joke.

The other bargoers, however, didn't seem to have the same inclination, and so began pestering the Brit.

"Well lookie h...

So a man walks into a bar

As soon as he sits down, the bartender offers him a challenge:

"So listen, we have a little bet we play around here"

The man follows the bartender's finger, pointed at the ceiling, and sees three pieces of meat, dangling high up from the ceiling.

"So if you can, in a single jum...

Jacque the Snail

Jacque is a snail. Snails are not known for their excessive speed. Jacque has always dreamed of going fast, faster than any snail ever has before. Jacque has been saving his money for years so he can buy a super fast sports car and impress all his little snail friends.

Finally, Jacque goes d...

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A Scotsman was shipwrecked...

...and finally washed ashore on a small island. As he regains consciousness on the beach, he sees a beautiful unclad nymphet standing over him. She asks, "Would you like some food?" The Scot hoarsely croaks, "Och, lassie, I havna' ittin a bite in a week noo and I am verra hungry!" She disappears int...

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A man is stranded on a desert island...

... When all of a sudden a beautiful brunette in full scuba gear strides out of the water surrounding the island. She sits down next to the awestruck man and says, "Would you like a cigarette?" The man agrees, and she unzips a pouch on her thigh and pulls out some cigarettes and a lighter.

Af...

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Two brothers decide they're old enough to start cursing

So one morning little six year old Johny grabs his little 4 year old brother Jimmy and pulls him into the closet under the stairs.

Johny- "Jimmy, I think it's time we started cursing. I'm going to say, DAMN."

Jimmy - "Yeah yeah yeah, damn! Damn!"

Johny- "No Jimmy you need your ...

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A business man goes to Japan

A business man had an important meeting to attend in Japan.
He arrives relatively early the night before the meeting so he figures he will take the opportunity to hire a hooker for the evening.
He heads out, finds a girl and brings her back to his hotel.
While he is giving it to her, chan...

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