This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Once upon a time, there was a teeny-tiny spider...

...and as the spider wanted to repent for its carnivorous days by becoming a vegetarian, it decided to live the rest of its days in a quiet, peaceful place to live off the land and to avoid the temptation of telling everyone about its transformation (he's trying to be better really hard, you know?)....

A circus performer is pulled over for speeding.

As the officer is writing the ticket, he notices several machetes in the back seat of the car.

“What are those for?” he asks suspiciously.

“I’m a juggler,” the driver replies. “I use those in my act.”

“Well, show me,” the officer demands.

So the juggler gets out and start...

I felt betrayed when my girlfriend joined a softball league without telling me

Of all the underhanded things...

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