UPJOKE
queenlet's dancelabyrinthlowspace oddityelvis presleythe next dayfamelodgerjaretheric claptonplastic soulashes to ashesunder pressuredrum and bass

Do you think David Bowie just had one set of clothes when he performed?

Or do you think he had several different ch-ch-ch-changes?

Why was David Bowie good at test taking?

Because he could write Under Pressure!

I felt like a fool when I bought David Bowie tickets for my son and then remembered that he died last year...

Even more so when I remembered that David Bowie died too.

What was David Bowies last hit?

Probably cocaine.

What's the Hamburglar's favorite David Bowie song?

Rebel Rebel

What does David Bowie call his OpenDocument files?

space.odt

What did Alan Rickman say when he stood over David Bowie's grave?

Do you mind if I Slytherin?

What does David Bowie do after the gym?

Ch ch ch ch changes

My coworker complained about our David Bowie tribute music recently...

...he complained that after Lemmy's death we didn't have any tribute music. I pointed out that would be slightly inappropriate, as Lemmy wrote about taking drugs and blacking out, whilst David Bowie wrote whilst taking drugs and blacking out.

Why did David Bowie's VCR always flash "12:00"?

Because although time may change him, he can't change time.

What does David Bowie do after he gets out of the swimming pool?

He ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-changes. (Sorry if repost)

I'm working on a "rock opera" adaptation of The Wizard of Oz that would employ the songs and sounds of the best British artists, including the Rolling Stones, Jessie Ware, Mumford & Sons, the Verve, David Bowie, and Radiohead.

It's called "Mum-Ware Stone-Verve the Rade-Bow."

What is David Bowie's favourite energy drink?

Redbull Redbull

What did David Bowie want for Christmas?

Carrie Fisher.

If diamonds are a girl's best friend, and dogs are man's best friend...

...then David Bowie is everyone's best friend.

This year in Heaven the Christmas celebration was also a costume party. Everyone dressed up.

Many people came as movie characters, from Gandalf the Grey (and White) to Jason Bourne to Black Widow to Harry Potter. Alan Rickman went as Hans Gruber, which made St. Peter exclaim "See, Die Hard IS a Christmas movie!" St. Peter was dressed as the "Fragile" lamp from A Christmas Story. Moses showe...

I ground up my ctrl key and gift wrapped it. The card reads:

This is ground ctrl.
TO: Major Tom


(Merry Christmas David Bowie!)

The ghost of Ronald Reagan floats into a man's house

As he walks through the wall the man exclaims to his friend 'look dude! Holy s**t its Ronald Reagan! Head on upstairs Mr Reagan you can haunt the attic!'

A few minutes later another ghost floats in, this time its David Bowie. Again the guy yells in excitement 'Dude! It's David Bowie! Mr Bowie...

Chris Cornell dies and goes to heaven…

St. Peter: It is probably a bit disorienting, but there are a lot of people here you will want to meet.

Chris: Like who?

St. Peter: Well, right over there are Janis, Jimi, Kurt, Prince, and David Bowie for starters.

Chris: Oh no, is that Bono over there with them? I d...

[NSFW]- What is David Bowie's zodiac sign?

Cancer.

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