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Panic Buy Jokes

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The kids asked what was for dinner and I told them "Scraps". They started crying. Spoiled brats, it's really hard to get food at the moment thanks to the panic buying.

And it was a stupid name for a dog anyway.



(Obligatory thank-you edit for the silver!)

(Narwhal! Narwhals are cool!)

A friend in Germany tells me everyone’s panic buying sausages and cheese.

It’s the Wurst Käse scenario.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I've been trying to understand all the toilet paper panic buying.

I think I got it.
One guy coughs and a 100 people lose their shit.

All this panic buying has led me to using alternative methods for toilet paper...

Last week was tree leaves this week it's lettuce. And that's just the tip of the iceberg!

Wanted to start panic buying.

But I saw my bank account and can only panic.

Shortages of toilet paper are starting to occur, as panic buying sets in again, due to the COVID-19 pandemic. Please don't buy more than is absolutely necessary.

Fortunately, the 24,490 rolls we stocked up on should last us thru the rest of the pandemic.

I bought a guide on how to not panic buy.

It's so good I got twenty copies just to be sure.

LPT: If you have been unable to buy soap due to panic buying

Find someone who has some and ask politely if you can sneeze into their hands.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

PSA on Hoarding and Panic buying due to Covid-19

Due to the current pasta shortage, the government has asked people not to panic buy based to the actions of a fusilli individuals.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Makes perfect sense to me that everyone is panic buying toilet roll because of the Coronavirus...

One sneeze and everyone shits themselves!

A motion picture crew is filming a Christmas movie.

A motion picture crew is filming a Christmas movie. The director wants to sprinkle white laundry soap flakes in front of the camera to simulate snowfall, so he sends his producer to the grocery store to buy some laundry soap.

The producer comes back several hours later. "It's the pandemic, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Movie pitch for a documentary

Movie pitch: a virus is spreading rapidly around the world, people are panic buying toilet paper and the fate of humanity relies on collage kids not partying.

WORKING TITLE: PARTY POOPER

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