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Palm Reader Jokes

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I went to see a palm reader today

He said "looking at your palms i can see you masturbate frequently".

"Sorry" i said "i probably should have wiped that off first ".

Just had a Palm reader read my hand today.

She said she wanted a second edition! Apparently the message was to heavy handed, to improve she said I should wash my hands of any unnecessary plot lines.

I just lost my job as a palm reader

Someone told me that they needed me to come in handy. I did.

Did you hear about the poker player that frustrated the palm reader?

He refused to show his hand.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I went to a palm reader she said"your single and lonely"

I said"how did you know that"she said "you have spunk on your hand"

A man with no hands walks into a palm reader's business

The palm reader looks at him and says, "well, I'm stumped."

My wife wanted to visit a jubilant psychic, and I wanted to see a jovial palm reader.

Thankfully, we managed to find a happy medium.

I took my son to the fair on the weekend…

…and we we’re having a great time. At least we were until I let him go in to see the palm reader. When he came out he was sad and when I asked what happened, he said “She told me that in 15 years I would have one of the worst days of my life after a loss.”

Being the great dad I am, on the way...

I recently saw a psychic, a mystic, a palm reader, and a fortune teller all laughing together at something I couldn't understand.

Must have been an insight joke...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There's a Psychic convention.

All the psychics are there. Palm readers, Crystal Ball people, phone psychics. So the speaker says "has anybody here ever seen a ghost?" A bunch of hands went up.
He says "has anybody here ever talked to a ghost?" A bunch of hands went up again.
He gets right down to the last que...

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