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Outlived Jokes

One day at church, a priest delivers a sermon about the importance of forgiving your enemies.

When he is a third of the way through the sermon, he says, "Raise your hand if you are now willing to forgive your enemies." Half of the people in the church raise their hands, so the priest continues the sermon.

When he is two thirds of the way through the sermon, he says, "Raise your hand i...

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How many of you forgave your enemies?

During Sunday mass, the priest asked the crowd:

-"How many of you forgave your enemies?"

Around 80% of them raised their hands. The priest then asked: "And how many of you intend to forgive your enemies?", and almost everyone's hand was now in the air. Everyone except a feeble, old lad...

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Toward the end of the Sunday service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?"

80% held up their hands. The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one man, Walter Barnes.

"Mr. Barnes, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"

"I don't have any," he replied gruffly.

"Mr. Barnes, that is very unusual. How old are you?" ...

A Pastor is preaching on Loving Your Enemies

He expounds on the value of grace and forgiveness to all and how we are called to love our neighbors and our enemies as much as we love ourselves.

The congregation is roused to action and filled with the Holy Spirit

The pastor asks them all "Will you go out into the world and love you...

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93 and you have no enemy's?

A priest finishes his service, and at the end asks everyone to forgive their enemy's and when they have, put their hand up. So after a minute, about half the people's hands are in the air. "That's not good enough" the priest says and waits another while. Eventually, everyone's hands are up, except a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Forgiving Your Enemies

After a long sermon, the priest asks his parishioners if they are ready to forgive their enemies. About half of the people in the congregation raise their hands. The priest talks for another 20 minutes and at the end asks the same question. This time, 80 percent of the parishioners raise their hands...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A preacher was telling his congregation about the virtues of forgiving their enemies.

He asked if anyone there had no enemies. An 85 year old man raises his hand. The preacher is amazed. He says, "Will you tell us, good sir, how is you have no enemies?" The old man says, " yeah, I've outlived all the fuckers."

Ed's father taught him how to ride a goat at a young age.

He showed him where the little saddle goes, and how to position the bridle.

Ed mastered the art of goat riding. The slightest pull from the reigns and the goat would stop. The lightest touch of the spurs on it's haunches and the goat would gallop full speed.

Ed named the goat Geronimo...

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