UPJOKE
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A Spanish speaking man walks into a clothing store looking to buy some socks

He found his way to the menswear department where a sales clerk offered to help him.

"Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"I don't speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here," said the sales clerk.

"No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"Wel...

How do quesadillas solve crimes?

They take them ques by ques

Ques.) Do you know what comes after USA?

Ans.) USB

In order to stop accusations of racism, Trump decides to hire a Mexican immigrant

However, he doesn't feel confortable having him as an employee and calls him over in his office.

Juan: "Why you call me, jefe ?"

Trump: "You're fired!"


Juan: "Que ?! Why ?!!"


Trump: "Because....uh... Because you didn't finish high school!"

Juan: "Oh, no pro...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why didn't hitler ever cook hot dogs at a bar-b-que?

He always tends to burn the franks.

What resolution do Mexican movie theaters show movies in?

Por que.

Star Wars names are just regular words if you put a random space somewhere:

Mos Quito

Que Sadilla

Scu Bagear

Syn Tax

Rev Erse

Mala Mute

Trypto Phan

Cano Nical

Impo Tent

Slee Papnea

A bilingual joke! (English/Spanish)

A Spanish man goes into a department store looking for a specific item of clothing. But he can't find what he's looking for and he doesn't know the English word for it.

So he grabs a salesperson and says, "Tienes calcetines?"

"I'm sorry, I don't know what that is," the salesperson says...

A 3rd grade class goes to the swimming pool... (/r/AskReddit comments section liked it and I was told that you might like it, too)

*It's a joke I know in french. So I tried to translate it and did some improvments since my first comment, too:*

A 3rd grade class goes to the swimming pool.

The lifeguard asks to the class: "Does any one of you already know how to swim?"

Then the little Dimitri, all excited, an...

I walked past a toy store with a huge line outside.

I asked what was going on and someone mentioned a complimentary lunch, so I joined in.

Bit dissapointing though, turned out to be a free Barbie queue.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

We're doing Spanish jokes now?

My buddy told me this one:

¿Como se cambie el sexo de un burro?

Enciérralo en un cuarto hasta que se aburra.

American jokes?

What are some jokes told in other countries about American behaviours?

Qu'est-ce que c'est tes blauges favoris qui parlents comment sont les americans?

Please list the country that it's from. Thanks!

I want to know if this Spanish joke translates at all

What’s the similarity between a boat, a firefighter and a family?

The boat and the firefighter have hard outer coverings (cascos).

*and the family?*

They’re good, thanks for asking!




(Original Spanish)
¿Que se parece entre un bombero, un barco y una famili...

If there was a hooker named Barbie ...

And she was really good at her job, would the line outside her apartment be called the Barbie queue?

My Spanish girlfriend wanted a better TV

So I arrived home and set it up.

Turns out she said Por Que instead of 4K.

I invented a device to disrupt the watchmaking industry. I emailed a proposition to a French watchmaker. Their response?

Seiko Killer? Qu'est-ce que c'est?

I asked my Spanish neighbor to help me fix my tv.

It was a very expensive tv and I told him that I had been meaning to sell it for a while, and would sell it once I got it fixed. He looked confused.

“por que?”

“No, it’s only HD”

What do you get when you crossbreed a Chihuahua with a German Shepherd?

A que-nein.

A man walks into a bar, he takes a seat and asks the barmen if he wanted to hear a blonde joke?

the barmen replies before you tell this joke I want to tell you something, see the women over there, she is a black belt in karate, she’s blonde , see the bouncer over there he is also a blonde, see the chick over there with that pool que she is also blonde, also I have a shotgun behind the bar i’m ...

Did you hear about the racist Mexican?

He joined the que que que

What song do fortune tellers hate?

Que Será, Será

A guy goes up to a Mexican and asks if he knew what the symbol for potassium was

“¿Que?”

Only 4 percent of Texas residents think there is an immigration problem...

The other 96% said "que dijo?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a group of Mexicans who hate black people?

the que que que

A man is standing in the street holding a sign saying "punch me"...

A man is standing in the street holding a sign saying "punch me". There's a que of people all waiting to get a hit. A man walks up to the que of people and asks "What's going on here?". They all turn to him and reply "This is the punch line"

What do you call a confused racist who speaks Spanish?

A member of the Que Que Que.

Seasonal joke I wrote (in Spanish)

I'm a native English speaker, and I wrote this joke while on vacation in Mexico at Christmas time:
I have no idea how to do accents - My Spanish is pretty much just spoken...
Que dijo la persona que estaba callendo de un edificio muy muy alto en diciembre?
Feliz gravidad!
(Translation: W...

I'm going to create a Mexican supremacist group called the ???

The ¿que que que?

A Mexican businessman visits the US

A Mexican businessman visits the US and forgot to pack an article of clothing, so he goes to a store. He doesn't speak any English and no one in the store speaks Spanish, but the employee still wants to help him.

Employee holds up a shirt and points at it, but the man says, "No."

Em...

"All people from Wisconsin talk about cheese"

"Que, so?"

What's the Mexican version of the KKK?

¿Que? ¿Que? ¿Que?

Une blague en Français - For french people only

Une femme avoue à son mari qu'elle a un fantasme depuis plusieurs années de faire l'amour pendant qu'un grand noir leur fait du vent avec une feuille de palmier.

Après y avoir bien réfléchi, le mari décide de demander à son collègue de l'aider.

Le lendemain, ils sont donc tous les 3 (l...

What do latino supremacists join?

The Que Que Que.

Carlos is chilling with his baby brother, Pedro…

…and Carlos says, "¿Quieres escuchar una broma, Pedro?" *(Do you want to hear a joke, Pedro?)*

To which little Pedro replies, "¡Sí, por supuesto!" *(Yes, of course!)*

And Carlos says, "¿Está seguro?
Puede ser demasiado divertido..." *(Are you sure? It may be too funny…)*

"¡Q...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Heavy snow is causing delays at the airport

Many are stuck waiting for the one active runway.

After hours of sitting out in the takeoff que a voice calls out over the radio.

"Im so fucking bored."

After a few more moments of radio silence ground control responds. "Last transmission please identify".

The radio st...

Yuppie buys a house in the country

A Yuppie decides to buy a plot of land in the countryside and build a house. Unfortunately, his neighbor is an old farmer who likes to spread his cows' manure on his fields every time the Yuppie throws a backyard cookout.


So one day the Yuppie sees the farmer and lets him know that he's g...

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