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Myer Jokes

What's the difference between Mike Myers and Michael Myers?

Michael Myers starred in a successful movie in the last decade.

What's Jesus' Myers-Briggs personality type?

INRI

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A widowed Jewish lady was sunbathing on a beach in Fort Myers, Florida.

She looked up and noticed that a man her age had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand next to hers and began reading a book. Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him. "Hello, sir, how are you today?"

"Fine, thank you," he responded, and turned back to his book.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do a thong bikini and Donald's Trump's hair have in common.

They both barely cover the asshole.
(gota give Seth Myer credit for this one).

A neighbor comes to Mr Myer

A neighbor comes to Mr Myer and says, “Your dog bit my mother in law!”

Mr Myer is horrified and apologizes, adding sadly, “You’ll probably be wanting financial recompense, won’t you?”

“Absolutely not!” smiles the neighbor, “I’d love to buy the dog!”

I just took a Myers-Briggs test.

Turns out I'm a Briggs.

A married couple with kid gets h*rny...

on a Sunday morning and thinks about how they can have some time to "cuddle". So they tell their son to go stand on the balcony and look if he can see something new going on in the neighbourhood.

So their son stands on the balcony and they get going. After a few minutes he yells: "Dad, dad! T...

So Mike Myers was sent to jail for cocaine charges

Rumor has it his fellow inmates have started calling him Austin Powders

I did a Briggs-Myers personality test. It said answer honestly, so i did.

Apparently I have no personality.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

New York police officers helped a black woman deliver a baby on the side of the road

Said one officer, “Come out with your hands up!”


- Seth Myers / Writers

Yo momma so fat...

Her Myers-Briggs type is PBNJ.

How do you determine the personality of a hot dog?

Give it an Oscar-Myers-Briggs test

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The gift

A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new

sweetheart's birthday, and as they had not been dating very

long, after careful consideration, he decided a pair of

gloves would strike the right note: romantic, but not too

personal.

Accompanied by his sweetheart's...

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