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Melinda Jokes

Bill and Melinda Gates woke up today and said...

May divorce be with you.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bill Gates woke up in the morning and found that his Mexican housekeepers were gone.

He asked his wife Melinda where they went, who replied that Steve Jobs showed up earlier and offered them the same work at his mansion for double their previous wage.
Bill became furious. "Fucking Jobs, coming here and taking our immigrants!"

Bill and Melinda Gates are getting divorced?

I thought they had a really strong foundation

Bill and Melinda were happy for 27 years

And then Bill started working from home.

I heard Bill and Melinda Gates are getting a divorce.

Must have been time for an update.

Have you heard? Melinda Gates, Mackenzie Scott, and Justine Musk are starting their own rocket company!

They are calling it Space-Ex’s and their rockets are guaranteed to go pren-up up up.

Melinda broke up with Bill through email

The email read as follows:


Bill,



I think it's time for us to see other people and move on from each other.


-M

Sent from my IPhone

So Bill Gates sends Melinda a Hotmail after the divorce.

"Let’s get married again” he writes.

“What do you mean?” she replies on MSN. “We just got divorced! You said the marriage wasn’t working! Why would you want to start everything up again?”

“That’s always worked before” he says.

Melinda moved out of Bills mansion the other day...

I hope someone remembered to update their drivers.

Bill and Melinda started out as an Office romance

But his PowerPoint didn't Excel. So she denied him Access without a Word. Outlook not good.

Melinda is moving out, and her future is dark.

Her new home does not have Windows.

I was going to make a joke about Bill and Melinda Gates’ divorce today, but I stopped myself...

It’s not really PC

Melinda Gates: "Bill, I think our relationship is not going to work anymore..."

Bill: "Why don't we try to divorce and marry again?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A US Navy cruiser anchored in Mississippi for a week's shore leave.

The first evening, the ship's Captain received the following note from the wife of a very wealthy and influential plantation owner:
'Dear Captain, Thursday will be my daughter's Debutante Ball. I would like you to send three well-mannered, handsome, unmarried officers in their formal dress unifor...

Melinda announces that she is keeping her married name after the divorce, not reverting to her maiden name.

I guess that's what you call Gatekeeping

Bill Gates recently split up with Melinda Gates, who will take half of his belongings, including Microsoft office.

But she will only get Microsoft Excel and Powerpoint, because he always keeps his Word.



shoutout u/Duttywood

Bill Finds his wife Melinda locked in the bathroom (Dad Joke)

(This is an original dad joke that I just thought of in the bathtub)



Bill: "Honey is everything ok in there, what's wrong?"

Melinda: "I'm bleeding and I'm out of supplies, can you run to the store real quickly and get me some?"

Bill: "I'm not sure I'm qualified... you...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

On being asked to describe Bill's penis, Melinda Gates could only think of one word...

Microsoft

Captain

A U.S. Navy cruiser pulled into port in Mississippi for a week's liberty.The first evening, the Captain was more than a little surprised to receive the following letter from the wife of a wealthy plantation owner: “Dear Captain, Thursday will be my daughter Melinda's coming of age party. I would li...

One Bill Gates' divorce

According to Melinda Gates, Bill just didn't Excel at his marriage. Apparently he had no Power Points while arguing, but he always had to have the last Word. And now that he no longer had Access to her heart, the Outlook was not looking good for them. They couldn’t work together as Teams. On the Sur...

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