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Love Each Other Jokes

The Bible tells us to love each other.

The Kama Sutra is a little more specific.

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Peanut butter and jelly don't love each other...

but I always find them in bread together.

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A man and his 13 yr old son are in the pharmacy when his son sees the condom display

"Dad", the son says, "what are those for?

"Well, those are for when a man and woman love each other and want to have safe intercourse.

"Oh", the son says, "Why do they have a three-pack?"

"That's for a college junior: one for Friday, one for Saturday and one for Sunday morning"....

Two melons are sitting in a field, talking about how much they love each other...

The first melon talks about how it wants a great big wedding, and how all their fruit and vegetable friends will be there to celebrate. The other melon wants them to run away together and have a 4-H judge do a quick ceremony. They argue passionately back and forth, when exasperated the second melon ...

What happens when a question mark and an exclamation mark love each other very much?

They [interrobang!](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interrobang)

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"Dad, what does 'gays' mean?"

Me: You know how mum and dad love each
other? Well, two men can love each other the same
way.

Daughter: So what is 'penetrating gays'?

Me: Er.. read me the whole sentence.

Her: "She stared at him with a penetrating gaze."

Me: Oh.

What's the difference between explaining to your kids how babies are made and explaining to your kids that you're getting a divorce?

One story starts with "Sometimes, when two people love each other *very much*..."

and the other story starts with "sometimes, when two people don't love each other very much..."

Dad, where do baby skeletons come from?

Well son, when a girl skeleton and a boy skeleton love each other very much, they bone!

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At university, students had to come up with a sentence in which the words "love" and "sex" both appeared

A female student's composition:

'When two people deeply and passionately love each other, and both reach a high level of mutual respect, then society morally and spiritually encourages that these two people should unite in the ecstasy of physical sex.'

A male student's composition:
...

A young whale asks his dad where he came from.

Father: “When a mommy whale and a daddy whale love each other very much they make a baby whale.”

Son: “Thanks, dad!”

Father: “You’re whale cum, son!”

Dracula decided it was time to give his son "the talk"

Dracula: You see, when two monsters love each other very much, they-

Son: They do the mash

Dracula: *nodding* They do the monster mash

Where do jokes come from?

Well, when a dad joke and a yo mama joke love each other, they do a knock-knock joke…

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As it's my 5th birthday, mommy, will you tell me the story of where I came from?

*The mom replied:* Hmmm, OK sure, how can I explain... well you see sweety, mommy and daddy love each other very much, so one beautiful spring morning mommy told daddy she had a seed, a tiny little seed, and I thought we should grow that little seed into something special.
That night daddy fert...

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A reporter is in Jerusalem interviewing a rabbi at the Wailing Wall

He asks the rabbi what he prays for.

The rabbi says, “I pray that the Jews and the Muslims can learn to get along and love each other. I pray to have all disease eradicated and for no one to starve. I pray that one day the world may live in peace.”

“That’s beautiful,” the reporter says...

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Deaf Couple in the Bedroom

Two deaf people have just gotten married. They really love each other, but sex at night has been a bit of a struggle, as they are unable to communicate through signing, and it is too dark to read each other's lips.

After several nights of fumbling around and many misunderstandings, the wif...

In 1931, a bride and groom

were in the hotel room on the first night of their honeymoon.

The husband sat down facing his wife and took her hands, "Darling, I know we've promised to cleave only onto each other, but I want to say it again, more strongly. I love you, only you. and I swear, I will never betray you with an...

A man is getting a divorce with his wife

The man sits down with his daughter to break the news to her. The daughter is visibly upset and asks why.

The man explains gently, “Your mother and I don’t love each other anymore honey.”

“What does love mean dad?”, the daughter asks.

“Well, an example of love is when you come ...

Two melons are in love...

After decades of conflict and war, the people of Watermelon Kingdom and Cataloupe Country are trying to ease diplomatic tensions between their peoples. A student exchange program is started to foster cross-cultural understanding.

Through the exchange program, Wally Watermelon meets Cassandra...

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Questioner: Can you explain the birth of Jesus Christ from scientific point of view?

Me: OK, I’m not sure why it falls on me to be the one to tell you this, but I’m up for it, I guess. You see, when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much…

Questioner: No, no, no!

Me: What?

Questioner: I don’t want an explanation of where *babies* comes from. I want an expl...

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NSFW On the day of her wedding, the girl asked her Mom

"Teach me how to make my husband happy" Mom replied " When two people love each other very much, making love is natural..."
Girl interrupts impatiently " I know how to fuck! Tell me how to make great chili dogs"

JESUS WAS BORED so he went to God, his father and asked him, "Dad, give me something to do, I am bored! "

"Take a file and smooth the top of the Himalayas," said God.
After 7,000 years Jesus came back again. "And now what can I do?" he asked God again.
God gave him a spoon and told him to empty the Indian Ocean.
After 7,000 years, he was back again. "It's done... and now?" he asked God. ...

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