Don't look out these blonds at the supermarket

WARNING!!! SCAM ALERT!!!



You may find superhot blonds on Walmart. They used to hang out around the big 24 hr Supermarket car park. When you are putting your shopping away, they ask you for a lift to McDonalds. They are very convincing and very hot!

Once in your car the Blonde o...

Why don't civil servants look out the window in the morning?

So they have something to do in the afternoon.

"Ladies and gentlemen," the intercom on a large intercontinental flight announces, "this is your captain speaking. Please look out of the window on the port, or left side of the aircraft, and you will see that the left engine is on fire..."

"Now please look out of the starboard window, or right side of the aircraft, and you will see that the wing is breaking off, and will soon separate from the fuselage..."


"Now, please look down, to the tropical island below. At the beach, you will notice a small orange object. It is a life...

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. If you all look out the left side of the plane..."

"... it'll tip over"

(Credit to The Golden Girls)

I'm taking a trip to the Amazon rainforest, but I was warned to look out for the head-shrinking indigenous tribes that still live there.

I'm not sure what the fuss is about. Who doesn't enjoy a little head?

They say the feds track all internet activity and look out for keywords that indicate terrorism or otherwise

I wanted to test this out and Googled "how to kill President"

Few days later I received a care package containing ammo

Police are asking the public to be on the look out for a homicidal chiropractor.

The Chief reports that the best line of defense is to watch your back.

Lately, I've seen a post about red flags to look out for when looking for a job

All I can say is dont go looking for a job at chinese government buildings because there's always a red flag

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Little red riding hood was told to look out for the wolf

So she’s really vigilant; she walks through the forest and she spots an eye through the bush and she says: “I see you mr wolf!” The wolf runs away. She goes deeper in the forest and she spots the wolf’s ears: “I see you Mr. Wolf!” The wolf runs away, little red riding hood goes deeper in the forest ...

What does a gamer look out for during match making?

Backwards Compatability

There’s two balloons in the desert. One says look out for that cactus!

The other goes What Cactussssss

Everyone goes through life looking out for #1...

Unless they are walking through a cow pasture. Then they look out for #2.

The is a strip club opposite a indoor golf club personally this is disgusting what if you go for a nice family night out and look out the window

And see a bunch of losers playing indoor golf

LPT: In light of Hurricane Michael, remember to always look out for yourself. As they say: There's no 'I' in Team...

But there is an Eye in Hurricane.

What kind of tick should you look out for on the full moon?

A lunatic

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A bull and his son look out from on top of a hill

Below them a herd of cows graze on an open pasture as the sun begins to set for the night The young bull turns to his father and says "Hey dad let's go down and fuck one." The father bull turns from the sunset and replies, "Son, we're gonna fuck em all."

Sometimes I look out over the new construction in my city, old ground being dug up to make room for the new, and I think to myself:

I really should have buried the bodies somewhere else.

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A guy hadn't gotten any action for a while so he decides to visit a local brothel

"What would you like tonight?” his entertainer asked him.
"Well, I'm not really sure, what do you recommend?” he replied.
"I could give you the best hand job you've ever had, if you don't believe me just look out the window... do you see that Mercedes? I bought that with the money I made just ...

A Politician Dies And Has To Spend Just ONE Day In Hell

A politician dies and ends up standing in front of the pearly gates. Saint Peter looks at him for a second, flicks through his book, and finds his name.

"So, you're a politician..."

"Well, yes, is that a problem?"

"Oh no, no problem. But we've recently adopted a new system for p...

Terry Wingdings was the newest recruit at the police academy.

Look out world, there’s a new serif in town.

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She did what he said

The retiring mailman

The mailman who had been on the same route for 10 years was leaving the job.

He had made many friends on the route and decided to put a note in their mailboxes informing them.

Many on his route came out of their houses to wish him well and some even gave h...

A Russian diplomat was visiting Washington DC

While there, he was invited to a large dinner celebration being held by members of the US government. As he entered the dining hall, he was taken aback by the decor. It was very impressive. Everyone was served fillet mignon. The plates forks and knives were real silver. A small band was playing clas...

A white scientist is studying a tribe in Africa

A white scientist is studying an African tribe.

One day, the tribe leaders wife has a white son.

The tribe leader approaches the scientist soon after.

"Well, we both know what happened here. No one else could have done it. You slept with my wife, I have to kill you." The tribe l...

This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic.

If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire. If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off. If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little ...

A new bartender is working the saloon in Dodge City

When a cowboy burst through the doors from the street shouting, "Look out everybody, Big Bill Johnson is coming to town!"

The saloon burst into a panicked commotion as everyone scrambled for the door. In the rush, the bartender is knocked down and passes out.

When he came to, he heard...

A CEO, a laborer, and an immigrant are at a table

the table has 20 cookies. The CEO takes 19 cookies and says to the laborer, “look out, that immigrant is trying to take your cookie!”

Farmer Browns pigs

Farmer Brown has a bunch of pigs that are all female. He decides to breed them to increase the size of his herd. So he calls his friend farmer Jones and asks if he can bring his sows over to mate with farmer Jones' boars. Farmer Jones agrees, so next morning, farmer Brown loads all his pigs into ...

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