This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I saw my neighbour crying while mowing the lawn

So I went outside to talk to him. I said:

"Tom you're a great dude but you're such a crybaby sometimes. I know your wife left you but she was a bitch! I had a girl leave me because she was sick of my shit but you don't see me bawling my eyes out about it!"

He tried to reply but his eye...

A woman collapsed on the street

Her husband, luckily, was able to catch her in time.

"Is anyone here a doctor!?" The husband shouted with sheer panic in his tone.

A man barreled through the onlooking crowd, knocking a few of them over to join the husband and wife.

"I'm a vegan!" The man said.

Three Europeans wash ashore on an island occupied by cannibals...

They are caught quickly, and the cannibal chief tells them that they are to be eaten and their skins used to make canoes. They are horrified at the thought of being cooked or eaten alive, but at least a little of their fear is relieved when the chief tells them that they will be permitted to kill th...

A guy and his wife are at the zoo

They walk up to the cage with a Gorilla. No one was around so the guy says to this wife, "hey babe, take your top off". Hesitantly his wife looked around and proceeded to life her top. The more she lifted it, the more wild the gorilla became.

The husband then says, "ok, take off your shorts"....

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