UPJOKE
inflammationlarynxtonsillitisbronchitissciaticamononucleosisappendicitisspasmstoothachestammeremphysematendonitispleurisysinusitiscough

I call my pony laryngitis.

He's a little horse.

What did the talking pony who had laryngitis and didn't understand humor say to the doctor?

I'm having a hard time speaking clearly.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A dwarf pony with laryngitis trots into a bar

and mumbles something to the bartender.

"What? Speak up, I can't hear you." she says.

The pony leans in closer and says "Sorry, I'm a little hoarse."

I have laryngitis and my girlfriend cheated on me.

I can't tell you how upset I am.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There’s been a rash of laryngitis sweeping through the Scandinavian equine circuit

Quick! Call the Hoarse Norse Horse Nurse!

Last week I went to the doctor’s office. Before I could get a word out, she says, “You have laryngitis.”

I said, “What does that mean?”
She said, “... Never mind.”

What was the pig when he got laryngitis...?

He was dis-gruntled!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man asks his wife..

"Honey, I know you've got laryngitis bad, but I'm feeling really horny today. Later tonight, when I ask if you wanna have sex, if the answer is yes, just reach over and pull on my dick once. If the answer is no, reach over and pull on my dick 600 times. "

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An angry man walked into a Taverna one evening, and yelled "I hate the Greeks!"

He looked around, at the light blue wall paper, with the white Grecian key pattern going around the top. He stared into the eyes of the bar tender, a strapping young lad with an olive complexion, rich black hair, a glorious unibrow, and piercing green eyes.

"Are you a Greek?" he asked, menaci...

A man worked for a road crew. One day he woke up ill...

...with a touch of laryngitis - but being a dedicated employee he went to work.

The boss felt rather sorry for him and didn't want him to do any physical labor - as they were repairing a part of the freeway. He says, "Why don't you go down the road and tell people to slow down going through t...

A guy with a whimpering faint voice orders an ice cream...

Vendor asks: "Crushed nuts?"
Guy whimpers back: "No. Laryngitis."

What is a vegans worst fear?

Laryngitis.

It pains me to say this

but I have laryngitis.

A speaker arrives in a small town for a conference...

A speaker arrives in a small town for a conference, and checks into his hotel. Having caught laryngitis a few days before, he sets out down Main St. looking for a doctor's office. It's a small town on a Friday afternoon so he is worried he won't find anyone to treat him, and that he won't be able ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

New weights and measures

1. The ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton

3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope

4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond

5. Weight an evangelist carries with Go...

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