A young boy is sitting in front of a diner when a large man approaches him. "Ex-ex-ex-c-u... pardon me, d-d-d-do you know izi-iz-iz the fo-fo-fo-food good here?" The young boy Scruggs his shoulders. "W-w-w-well th-th-th-thanks anyw-w-way." The man says and walks away. The young boy's mot...
A man comes into the Airport Employment Office.
He looks like a real hick, in overalls, muddy boots, and a ragged straw hat. "Ah'z looking fer a jobe," he announces. "And what is it you do, good sir?" asks the man at the desk. "Ah'z uh pahlut." Surprised, the man says "Really? Well, we can always use another pilot around the airpor...
Little Johnny is trick or treating
and he’s dressed like a pirate! His outfit is top to bottom swashbuckling fun, and he’s incredibly proud of all the fine details included.
He goes to the first house, knocks on the door and when the door opens he yells “twick o tweat!” The woman at the door fawns over him, she coos “oh...
So this British couple adopt a German baby...
... and as it grows from a babe-in-arms, to a toddler, it never makes a sound.
As the child grows into a young boy, he stays silent and it gets to the point where his adopted parents are really worried.
As the boy gets older, he still never says a word.
Then one day, the family ...
German Hell and Italian Hell
Mario Schultz dies. He was an awful person, therefore he goes straight to Hell where he stands in front of the Devil.
"Welcome to Hell, mr. Schultz" says the Devil "it occured to me that you have both german and italian citizenships: according to ILODAD (International Law On Destination After...
Mayday, mayday, we are sinking.
Zis iz za German coast guard vat are you sinking about?
Abram is coming home in grief and despair
His wife is asking what happened \- *Oy vey iz mir!* \- he tells her - So much spending! So much money I am going to lose! Today our rabbi gave a speech: "For many years we are living among Russians but they still don't like us. And we don't even know why. I gave it many a thought and decided...
Quasimodo wants to go on vacation...
so he posts an ad in the local paper. A couple of days later he's contacted by a young man, and asks him to come up to Notre Dame so that he can learn the ropes. "Ringing ze bells of Notre Dame truly is an art, and there is only one way to get ze perfect sound you know. Here, I will show you"...
How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?
Ask them to pronounce the word unionized.
A Lithuanian couple in a hotel
A Lithuanian couple go to a hotel in USA. They spot a mouse in the room.
"A mouse! Dear, call the lobby, you know at least some English, right?!"
The man picks up the phone.
"Helou."
"Can I help you?"
"Yes, dū jū nau Tom and Džeri?"
"Yes sir, of course."...
A Jew, an African-American, and a redneck are walking along a beach....
... when they come across a lantern. They all grab it and as they are wrestling over it a genie pops out. He says, "This is unusual. Normally I give one person three wishes, but all three of you are holding my lantern. What I'll do is grant each of you one wish."
The Jewish guy steps forward ...
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