A famous car designer...

A famous car designer was about to retire at the age of 64 due to health concerns. For all his life, he had strived for perfection in his craft of designing cars, specifically for Kia. In each of his 32 models, he was instrumental in some innovation or vastly improved function.

He called for ...

Just as the Count was about to pounce on van Helsing, the door to the library was flung open.

Incontinently, a host of furious villagers stormed into the library, waving blazing torches and voicing dire threats. The Count turned to leap on them, then reeled back, repelled at the reek of garlic that wafted from them like a solid thing.

"Count Dracula!" cried the burgomaster, a solid ci...

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There were three nuns on a pilgrimage.

They were walking through the desert when they realised that they had run out of food and water however the youngest of the nuns found that she had a small bag of flour.

“Sister,” said the mother superior. “Please urinate in the flour, make a dough and then we may bake it so that we may break...

A very religious man lived right next door to an atheist.

The  religious man prayed every single day and night, spending much time at  church, while the atheist never even thought of such acts.
However, the atheist's had a good life. An excellent, well-paid job, and a beautiful wife, lovely, healthy, children, whereas the religious  man's job was stres...

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One of the first "dirty" jokes I heard when I was 10

So Jane sees Tarzan sneaking off one night and goes investigating. She follows his trail and finds him furiously humping a tree-trunk that has a curiously well-used looking hole in it. Initially disgusted, she's mollified thinking, "At least he wasn't doing it with other animals like everybody else ...

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The last joke my grandma told me

Note: My grandmother used to call me up once a week and tell me the latest joke that she had picked up from who knows where. She passed away earlier this year and I cannot begin to say how much I miss her jokes. This one was the last one that she ever told me. It wasn't the funniest by itself bu...

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BONGO!

Three guys in the jungle get captured by a native tribe.

The chief announces to them (Yeah, they all speak English) that they will be killed, unless they submit to BONGO, in which case, they will be set free.

The first of them agrees to BONGO, and is promptly taken to the centre of the...

Three missionaries in Africa

Three missionaries are going to evangelize tribes in the deep jungle, where they heard dangerous tribes exist.
What had to happen happened, and they got caught by a warriors tribe. Everybody is killed except the missionaries and one native interpreter.
The tribe chief tells the first missi...

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