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Grater Jokes

I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday...

He said that it was the most violent book he'd ever read.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does a blind person say when washing a grater?

"That must be the stupidest shit I've ever read."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I spent £96 on eBay today to buy a cheese grater once owned by Hitler and Saddam Hussein.

It was the grater of two evils.

I have just bought myself a new cheese grater

Must say, grate things came out of this.

(edit - sorry for the cheesy joke)

My dad accidentally threw a cheese grater at me,

So I left the room and he yelled “come back here you ungrateful child” while laughing hysterically.

Update 1: my mum just told me if I had a ‘shred’ of decency I would go back in there.

Update 2: my dad apologised and told me he had only done it for the ‘grater’ good

A man gives his blind friend a cheese-grater

A man gives his blind friend a cheese-grater for Christmas, meets him in January and asks if he liked his present.  ‘No’, the friend replied, “I tried to read it but it was just too violent.

What’s giggling, red, and gets smaller by the minute?

A masochist with a cheese grater

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A blind person places hand over a grater

"Who wrote this crap?"

I put my backup cheese grater in a glass box.

I'll break the glass in Queso-mergency

Why did the man put Parmesan on his spaghetti?

For the grater good!

What did Trump do with the broken cheese grater?

He made it grate again

When Life gives you a cheese grater...

You hold it up and say, 'Life's grate'.

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What was the blind man holding a grater shouting about?

"WHO THE FUCK WROTE THIS?!"

I’ve got to get into shape for my new job as a cheese grater.

I’ve got to get shredded.

Thanks to the innovative and powerful cheese grater design of the new mac pro...

...People can finally become Mac Cook Pros

i rubbed a lamp once and a genie came out of it

he said i'll grant you one wish, i said i wish i could talk to cheese

*poof* he granted my wish and disappeared

a few days later i'm in my house, and i open the fridge out of boredom and i see this block of cheese

and it said to me: "hey mister, i don't wanna stay in your fridge...

I cut my finger chopping cheese...

I think that may have grater problems

What do you get when you cross a cheese grater with a giraffe?

A ban from the zoo.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A blind guy gets into the kitchen, ...

... randomly picks up a cheese grater, and yells:

"Who the fuck wrote this gibberish!?"

A child was doing some dishes

A child, around 11 years old, was doing dishes.

His parents were talking in the kitchen when they noticed him furiously scrubbing at the cheese grater.

"What's the matter, James?" His mother sweetly asked. James only scrubbed harder.

'Can't...get this cheese...off...'

His...

Met this girl on tinder

She told me she's into getting cut, demeaned and she's also into food.

I told her I have a cheese grater waiting for my dirty little Munster

*Spelling

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A cooking utensil owned by both Hitler and Osama Bin Laden went for auction today.

It’s the grater of two evils.

I got promoted to the senior supervisor at the cheese factory.

I am now the greater grater grader.

Yesterday I had to throw out my moldy shredded cheese

It was for the grater good.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three guys were talking about their girlfriends...

Three guys were talking about their girlfriends and the topic turned to blowjobs. The first guy says "My girl calls them 'ice baths' because she always puts something cold in her mouth when she give me head." The second guy says "My girlfriend uses a move she calls 'the lemon drop' where she eats so...

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