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Graduate Student Jokes

What does a graduate student with a science degree ask? "Why does it work?" What does a graduate student with an engineering degree ask? "How does it work?" What does a graduate student with an accounting degree ask? "How much will it cost?"

What does a graduate student with a liberal
arts degree ask? "you want fries with that?"

A professor asks a graduate student what he's working on these days.

"I'm writing a thesis on the survival of the class system in America," the student said.

"Oh, that's interesting. I didn't know there was a class system in America."

"No one does. That's how it survives."

A graduate student submits his thesis to his advisor...

A few days later, the advisor returns in with a single note: Needs Improvement.

So the student makes a few changes and resubmits it. Again, the advisor returns it with the single note: Needs Improvement.

This time, the student pores over it, double checks every word, adds every referen...

An economics graduate student crosses the road.

An economics graduate student was crossing the road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "if you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." The student picks up the frog and puts it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "if you kiss me and turn me back into a beauti...

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A graduate student in psychology

A psychology graduate student working at a local university was sent on a field assignment to evaluate the mental condition of three patients in a local mental institution and assess their possibilities for reintegration into society.

The facility was well funded and nicer than the student ex...

She yells, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight, you pig!"

Everyone in the bar stops and stares.

Completely embarrassed, the guy slinks back to his table with a red face.

After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes.

She smiles and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. I'm a graduate student in psychology, and I'm st...

How many graduate students does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but it takes him 10 years!

"Hey, graduate student Minotaur, what are you up to today?"

"Not much, just working on my Theseus."

Who is a Graduate student's least favorite Greek Hero?

Thesus

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Nobel Prize winner is dying (long)

A Nobel Prize winning professor is on his deathbed, losing and regaining consciousness every few minutes. Apart from his immediate family, all his graduate students are around as well.

The professor regains consciousness and looks at the bookshelf near him… He goes: “What are these books?”...

I don't understand why people think that an animation graduate student would not be able to get a job. Well I'm here to tell them they're wrong. I'm working! I'm doing my job making many kids happy...

Happy meals at McDonald's.






Come get your free surprise gift for a limited time only.

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[Long]A Theoretical Physicist is working diligently in his office at Columbia University.

With him is one of his graduate students minding her own business grading some of the first year students term papers. He is generally motionless except for the waggling of his pencil on the notebook he's doing sums in and the occasional pause to take a sip of his Jasmine tea.

All of a sudde...

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