How many Southern Baptists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two: One to screw the lightbulb, and one to convince the lightbulb that the lightbulb’s sinful, promiscuous behavior is what caused the first one to screw it, and if the lightbulb gossips to the police about being screwed, it would be damaging the church’s mission of preaching the Good News of Jesus...
I don't repeat gossip
So listen carefully the first time
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
2 Nuns and a Bottle of Whiskey
A bartender is waiting for closing time at his pub so he can lock up, and go home. It's a slow night and he has no customers.
He hears a light knock at the back door, opens it, and there are 2 nuns there. One says, "Mr Bartender, can we impose upon you for a wee favor?"
God wanted to take a vacation...
...so He asked St. Peter for suggestions on where to go.
"Why not go to Jupiter?" asked St. Peter.
"No, too much gravity, too much stomping around," said God.
"Well, how about Mercury?"
"No, it's too hot there."
"Okay," said St. Peter, "what about Earth?" ...