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Free Range Jokes

A free range child is a sign of a good mother.

Unless she's a cannibal, which makes it a sign of a good farmer.

Did you hear that if you put Free Range animals in a pen, they murder each other?

They become deranged.

Hey, Chicken, why did you cross the road?

I'm sorry, I thought this was a free range country!

On the chicken farm

A farmer who produced free range eggs gave a visitor a tour.

"And in this corner, the hens take some of the grain that we give them and put it in that old water dish, where it ferments and becomes a kind of primitive beer."

The visitor replied "Wow! Chicken brewers! I wonder if it's mo...

I would like to buy 200 eggs, please.

- 200, sir?
- Yes. I'm going to egg my neighbor's house and I'm going to egg it good!
- Oh ...
- I'll go down to his yard and throw them eggs to the windows, to the walls, to the door, to the garage, even to his car.
- ...
- That is, of course, unless his stupid dog is outside. In tha...

I was invited to a dinner the other night.

The host warned me ahead of time, "Just so you know, we only serve vegetarian dishes. I hope you're alright with that."

I told him, "Of course! I have no problem with vegetarian dishes. In fact, I prefer them. But for the sake of conscience I do prefer it if the vegetarians were free rang...

Do cannibals refer to...

Homeless people as “Free Range”?

Farmer John

Farmer John once lived on a quiet rural highway but as time
went by, the traffic slowly built up and eventually got so
heavy and so fast that his free range chickens were being
run over, at a rate of three to six a week.
So Farmer John called the local police station to complain,
"You...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sex mad rooster!

There is this farmer and one day he goes into the chicken coop and the rooster says to him "dude I am gagging for a fuck" so he takes the rooster into the hen hutch next door and closes the door, moments later there is a huge commotion, feathers fly out the window there is raucous clucking and crowi...

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