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Excitingly Jokes

A blonde fills a stadium with 90,000 people to prove blondes are smart

She fills up the stadium with 90,000 blondes, TV crew, News crews all of the media.

She calls up one volunteer from the crowd.

The host says: "Lets start with some simple maths questions"

Blonde: "Sure"

The host asks, "What's 3 times 8?"

After 20 seconds the blond...

A guy with LED Light up shoes at work, excitingly proclaims "Look at my shoes! They light up when I walk away!"

His annoyed co-worker sarcastically replies: "Doesn't everyone?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My daughter walked into our bedroom to catch us having sex.

"What are you doing?" she asked in shock.
"Making you someone to play with," I said.
"A brother?" she asked excitingly.
"No, a cousin," I replied. "Now go and watch out for your mother coming home."

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jerry has a 69

After a excitingly hot 69 position with his girlfriend , Jerry remembered he had a dentist Appointment

He was afraid the dentist would smell Pussy on his breath! So he brushed his teeth several times
Gargled ½ a litre of Listerine used dental floss as well

As he arrived at the dent...

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Best weight loss In town!

A new fitness center was advertising around the city with their fool-proof method of losing a substantial amount of weight in under an hour!

Tom was an out of shape guy that wanted to lose weight badly, but was skeptical about this new spot.

After hearing many of his friends and colle...

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A prostitute walks into a judge's chamber.

Looking clearly a case of physical assault the judge gave her a seat and asks , "Dear. You look battered. What happened? "

She replied, " I was with one of my clients. We had a really good time and then he thrashed me like this."

The judge asked her to explain what happened with all th...

Three men were stranded in a hot desert when suddenly a gene appeared!

The gene says: “I see you three have been walking in this hot desert for over a week and you’re almost out of food and water! I will give each of you one wish, and one wish only!”

The first man immediately shouts “Please teleport me home!”

And in an instant the man was teleported away...

Blondes know Easter

Three blondes die and go to St. Peter. He says, "I have one question, and if you get it right, I will let you into Heaven."

He asks the first blonde, "What is Easter?"

She answers, "That's the time of the year when our whole family gets together and we eat turkey."

St. Peter say...

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Weight loss program

Joe wanted to loose weight but he lacked the motivation to work out. One day he sees and ad in the paper, “3 step weight loss program, guaranteed to get you motivated to workout”

Joe thinks he has nothing to loose and calls the number. later that evening he hears the door bell, he opens the...

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A guy was peeing on a tree

When suddenly a fairy appeared out of nowhere.

"Thank you" said the fairy.

"Your hot water saved me from a curse that was cast unto me for being stupid. I may be dumb but I can grant wishes, as a thank you for saving me from that terrible curse I can grant one of your wishes."

T...

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An elderly woman felt like she and her husband were losing touch, so she convinced him to go to couple therapy with her.

While sitting through the normal "how does that make you feel" questions, the therapist asks about their sex life. The woman speaks up first and mentions how he never wants to have sex anymore and it makes her feel upset. The man, who was already flustered, got embarrassed, and stormed out, refusing...

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Two prostitutes were walking down the street...

Two prostitutes were walking down the street and one of them said excitingly, "Oh we're gonna make big money tonight, I can smell the dicks in the air." The other one said, "Oh please, I just burped."

Grasshopper walks into a bar

Bartender goes "*hey! you.... we have a drink named after you, buddy!*"

Grasshopper excitingly responds "*no way! You have a drink named Steve?*"

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