UPJOKE
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This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Sex contest (mildly NSFW)

An Englishman and a Spaniard are in a bar in Amsterdam at midnight when they start bragging to each other about their sexual escapades. After several minutes of back and forth, the Englisman challenges the Spaniard to a contest.

"We'll go to the nearest brothel and see how many times we can ...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Luke's Stories of Love & the Little Green Master

So Luke is telling Yoda about this hot alien female from Coruscant on whom he performed oral sex. After listening to his escapades, Yoda only had one word in response.


"Attenuate"

๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ก๐—ฎ๐—บ๐—ฒ'๐˜€ ๐—™๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜... ๐—–๐—น๐—ฎ๐˜€๐˜€๐—ถ๐—ฐ ๐—™๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜.

The year was 2020.

By some miracle, Julius Caesar woke up in his grave.

Yes, the same dude from Ancient Rome who got whacked by Brutus and his buddies.

The stab wounds on his back had healed and he was alive again.

He dug himself out of his grave and looked at himself in...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Three old cowboys...

Frank, Raph, and Jed had just finished their supper by the camp fire and broke out the jug of whiskey. Passing around the jug, they started bragging about their dangerous escapades throughout their lives. Frank says, "I remember one time I was crossing a stream and a 12 foot grizzly bear that was fi...

In the City of Loafington, there lived a superhero named Wonderbread.

Wonderbread was, predictably, a superhero with bread-themed powers. He could beat up a gang with a baguette, trap someone in a giant pita, or cushion someone's fall with swiftly-rising dough. He was beloved by all in the city, for his escapades had the lovely side-effect of feeding the entire city f...

The intelligent dog

Roxy, a large black Labrador, was sitting up in his seat at the movies, wagging his tail, growling at the villain and barking excitedly at the heroโ€™s escapades. The woman in the seat behind him was intrigued.
โ€œExcuse me,โ€ she said, tapping Roxyโ€™s owner on the shoulder, โ€œthat dog is extraordinary....

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