An elderly couple go to their local fast food restaurant.

The old man placed an order for one hamburger, French fries, and a drink.
He unwrapped the hamburger and cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.

He then carefully counted out the fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.
He to...

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.

"One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me," said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.
Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One ...

What did one dividing cell say to its sibling when they stepped on their foot?

Mitosis!

A Newfoundlander is painting the dividing line on a road

The first day, he paints 7km of lines along the road

The second day he paints 4km of lines along the road

And the third day he paints only 1km of lines along the road

So the manager of the site calls the Newfoundlander into his office and sites him down.

"What's going o...

A dad joke my science teacher told me a long time ago:

Why are bacteria so bad at math?

Because they multiply by dividing.

RIP Miss Henn. Miss her lots.

A teacher is grading tests when she notices one student is getting every question right, but then dividing the answer by two

Bewildered, she has a talk with him. He tells her he doesn't understand what the issue is, to which the teacher responds, "Look, the first step to getting better is admitting you halve a problem."

The walnut tree (idk what to put for title lol)

One day, Johnny and his friend Bobby walked into the cemetery. There were a lot of fallen walnuts from the walnut tree that they wanted to share. They started splitting them and Johnny said "One for you, one for me! One for you, one for me!"

At this time, a little boy was biking along the roa...

I remember when I divorced my wife...

.. she insisted on dividing everything up fifty-fifty. She took half the dishes; I took half the dishes. She took half the furniture; I took half the furniture. I mean, right down to the pets. She wanted half the cats; I got half the cats. She wanted half the fish; I got half the fish. She even wa...

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