UPJOKE
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Divides Jokes

A comb walks into a bar and divides it in two.

Now it's a barbars.

(In my head this was funny but I do have migraine right now)

Wanna know what really divides people?

knives

An elderly couple decides to live it up a little and go to McDonald's...

When they order the food, the old man divides the fries in half and splits the burger in two.

Some students see this and offer to buy some more food so that they can both eat a whole sandwich.

"No, no, that's fine," says the old man, "We share everything."

So the old man start...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Naked Black Men

There was a painting on the gallery wall depicting three naked black men on a bench, and the one in the middle had a white penis. A visitor was explaining to anyone that would listen about how the picture was showing something deep and meaningful about race and cultural divides.

A voice at th...

An old couple goes out for lunch.

They order one burger, one small fry, and one drink. The man gets an extra cup and pours half of the drink into the other cup, gets a plastic knife and cuts the burger in half, and dumps out the fries and divides them.

I noticed and asked if they needed a few bucks to buy another meal. The o...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sharing...

An elderly couple stands at the counter at the local burger joint. The man orders a deluxe burger, large fries, and a cup of decaf. The counter clerk turns to the woman and asks her what she would like.

“Oh, nothing for me, deary. My husband and I share everything.'”

The clerk hits a...

"Y'know with all the civil unrest, political corruption, class divides, drug smuggling, gang wars, police brutality, gun violence, and poor education maybe building a wall to protect us from our southern neighbors isn't such a bad idea"

\- Canada

What's the difference between a mad engineer and a mad scientist?

The mad engineer builds an efficient, well-desined death ray and destroys the world in one blow.

The mad scientist builds his death ray and divides the world into three randomised groups: an experimental group to be killed, a control group to be spared and a group that is told they are dead ...

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