Cruisers Jokes

**Americans**: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.









**Canadians**: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.






**Americans**: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship.... read more

Monday: Someone stole all the toilets from the station house. So far they have nothing to go on.

Wednesday: A large sinkhole opened up in the middle of main St. They are still looking into it.

Friday: A thief has stolen all the wheels off of the police cruisers. They are working the ca... read more

Vladimir Putin:] It’s a great pleasure, thank you.

[Interviewer:] This ship that was involved in the incident off Crimea this week…

[Vladimir Putin:] Yeah, the one the magazine detonated?

[Interviewer:] Yeah

[Vladimir Putin:] That’s not very typical, I’d like to make that... read more

A man, about to crawl into bed with his wife for the night, looks out his window to see 3 men robbing his shed. So, he calls the police. "Hello, I see three men stealing from my shed, can you please send someone down here?" The operator replies, "I'm sorry sir, but there's no units available in your... read more

The farmer sneaks up on the shed and locks the door from the outside trapping the two thieves inside. So he calls the OPP (Ontario Provincial Police) and tells them he has the two thieves locked in his shed and to come and arrest them. The dispatch says that they are really busy and will get there... read more