Contempt Of Court Jokes - 8 Hilarious Contempt Of Court Jokes

A man is in court. The Judges says,"on the 3rd August you are accused of killing your wife by beating her to death with a hammer, how do you plead?"

"Guilty", said the man in the dock. At this point a man at the back of the court stood up and shouted "You dirty rat!" The Judge asked the man to site down and to refrain from making any noise. The Judge continued "..... and that also on the 17th September you are accused of killing your son by beat...

Why did Bill Cosby get hit with contempt of court?

He was accused of quaaluding with the jury.

Contempt Of Court

Having had to take the day off work to appear in court for a minor traffic summons, the man was growing increasingly restless as he waited hour after hour for his case to be heard.

Finally, late in the afternoon, his case was called. He stood before the judge, only to hear that court would b...

Another Lawyer Joke

A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer. "If I lose this case, I'll be ruined!"
"It's in the judge's hands now," said the lawyer.
"Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?"
"No! The judge is a stickler on ethical behavior. A stunt lik...

My wife says I judge her too much...

She was held in contempt of court for saying that.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man on trial asks the judge, “What would happen if I said, ‘Judge, you’re a son of a bitch?’”

The judge said, “I’d hold you in contempt of court.”

The man then asked, “What would happen if I just thought you were a son of a bitch?”

The judge said, “I suppose there isn’t anything I can do about a person’s thoughts.”

The man replied, “In that case judge, I think you’re a f...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is on trial for murdering his wife...

The judge looks down and reads the charges, "The defendant, Mr. William Jones, has been charged with bludgeoning his wife to death with a hammer. How do you plead?"

Before the defendant can answer a man at the back of the room cries out, "YOU BASTARD!"

"Order in this court room!" the j...

Grandmas and lawyers

Lawyers should never ask grandmas a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer! In a trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, an elderly grandmother to the stand. He approached her and asked; "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you,...

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