Consistently Jokes

The pilot of the fighter jet slows down, flies alongside the Airbus and greets the pilot of the passenger plane by radio: "Airbus, boring flight isn’t it? Now have a look here!"
He rolls his jet on its back, accelerates, breaks through the sound barrier, rises rapidly to a dizzying height, and ... read more

Because all the good ones Argon.

Dammit noon noon

Said one researcher, "They just have trouble weighing the crows and pawns."

Like I don't even try it just happens! But I swear if it happens to me one more time someone else better start trying to fence off this damn volcano.

Good insoulation.

My boss was angry that I consistently gave out the wrong change. Apparently, I lack cents ability.

Thanks for all your support!!!

but unfortunately when I write my terrible dad jokes I can never look myself in the eyes

With inflation at 7.5%, you lose half your money in 9 years. The only way to outperform that consistently, that I have found, is crypto. Just this year I've already lost half my money.

A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in 9 holes before he had to head home. Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the... read more

Two old friends caught up for lunch. Jake and Oliver hadn't seen each other for over twenty years. "How have you been?" Oliver asked.
"I've been good" Jake said, ordering from the menu. "I'm married with two great kids. Work is a bit dull but it pays the bills. How about you, how have you been... read more

”You had a good idea to replace the first four pews with plush bucket theatre seats. It worked like a charm. The front of the church always fills first now".

The young priest nodded and the old priest continued, "And you told me adding a little more beat to the music would bring young people ... read more

'Nice car' says the lad.

The Director looks at him coolly on the eye and says 'See this lad, if you work hard, do loads of unpaid hours and consistently exceed your punishing sales targets, well lad, this time next year ...... I can buy another one.'

Which is unsurprising considering /r/jokes consistently achieves a 100% recycle rate.

It’s the only reason I find this sub consistently funny

So let’s say one person initiates the joke by coming up with a line, the next person either continues the set up or has a punchline but the punchline must also be able to set up the next persons line, etc etc etc, can it be done? Will it be consistently funny? I think I’ve made sense but I’m not gre... read more

Most people can't spell weird consistently

One turns to the other and says, “boy, it sure is hot in here!”

The other muffin replies, “Ahhhhh a talking muffin!!!!!”

(I’m terrible at jokes and this is the only one that I consistently don’t f*k up and my husband actually laughs when I tell it.)

After a few weeks of being consistently ignored by his wife, he decides to see if she is deliberately ignoring him or just losing her hearing.


One evening, while she is cleaning the dishes, he stands about ten feet behind her and asks "Can you hear me?" His wife does not respond.

<... read more

Because they're consistently lied to about what 6 inches looks like.

People keep making resolutions to hit him consistently

The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.

I tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else I could think of to "clea... read more

A man, fresh out of college, goes into a job interview and presents himself well. The employer is shocked at how professional he is.

"Wow, you have an incredible resume, and you present yourself fantastically," he says. "Your present lack of experience in the professional world is unconcernin... read more