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Three years ago I mistakenly bought my son a giant conch shell…

I have a son who’s on the spectrum. It’s quite common for people like him to latch onto one specific topic and become an absolute encyclopedia about it. Some people choose trains, some a cartoon. For my son, this was mollusks. Interesting topic I know, but it seemed to be a pretty good deal for us b...

My girlfriend has a tattoo of a conch shell on her inner thigh.

When I put my ear to it, I can smell the ocean.

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The billionaire and the mermaid whisperer

A billionaire is sailing his yacht past a lighthouse, and he sees the elderly lighthouse keeper out on the rocks at the base of the lighthouse, getting a blowjob from a mermaid - the top half was a stunning, curvy redhead, and the bottom half was a tiger shark. As he watches, the pair finish the act...

My girlfriend got a tattoo of a conch shell on her inner thigh...

Every time I lay my ear on it I can smell the ocean.

If I lie there long enough, I get crabs on my forehead.

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