UPJOKE
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Cheerily Jokes

A cruel and spiteful restauranteur whose restaurants only served Pepsi products, died suddenly, and was shocked to find himself in heaven

As he approached the pearly gates, St Peter cheerily asked, “Would hell be OK instead?”

A Politician Dies And Has To Spend Just ONE Day In Hell

A politician dies and ends up standing in front of the pearly gates. Saint Peter looks at him for a second, flicks through his book, and finds his name.

"So, you're a politician..."

"Well, yes, is that a problem?"

"Oh no, no problem. But we've recently adopted a new system for p...

A Blonde girl is going door to door trying to earn money for college.

She comes to one guy's house and rings the doorbell.

"Yes?" the man answers.

"Hi there!" greets the blonde happily. "I'm trying to earn money for college. Do you have any jobs around the house you need done?"

The guy smiles. "Sorry, sweetheart, not really. I was gonna paint th...

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A guy dies and suddenly finds himself in Hell...

He trepidatiously follows the crowd towards the Gates of Hell. He finds a demon holding a piece of cardboard with his name on it.

"Craig?," asks the demon as the man approaches.

"Y... yes," answers Craig, unsure of how to handle the situation.

"Hi. I'm Ed. I know what you're thi...

A man and his wife just had an argument, and are very angry with each other.

The man is driving his wife to a family gathering when they suddenly see a herd of pigs crossing the road in front of them. Seizing the chance, the husband cheerily asks:

- "Hey, look! Are they some relatives of yours?

And his wife quickly replies,

- "Yeah, my parents-in-law!"

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Tourists in Australia

George and Ethel retired, and decided to take a vacation in Australia and see the Outback. While driving through the Outback, they came over a hill, and on the side of the road was a bushman having sex with a kangaroo. George quickly shielded his wife's eyes while they drove by.

A few miles...

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So a woman wants to buy a parrot for her husband

She goes to the store and asks the manager, who replies, " I have two parrots, one repeats everything you say, and the other keeps all your secrets."

She asks to see the secret-keeping Parrot, and the manager obliges. He brings it out and she asks it,"How do I look?"
The surly parrot then...

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Man a Gets Job as 'Chief Tester' at a Durex Factory!

A man goes for a job in a Durex factory. The interview goes great and the lucky guy is offered the job immediately. The interviewer asks "would you like to see what you will be doing?" and the man agrees it would be good to get a feel for his new task.

They walk out into a large manufacturing...

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The Girlfriend Joke

Now, I need to caveat the beginning of this joke with some information. I'm a solid six-outta-ten, a real average looking guy. Never been too smooth wirth the ladies but whaddaya do, never been lonely neither.
So, one day I come home from work, I live in a little apartment complex, and I see acro...

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Three construction workers are building a brick wall in the middle of a swamp.

During a break, the first man, Joe, says, "Let's have a brick throwing competition. Whoever can throw his brick the highest wins!"

"That sounds like fun; I'm in!" Replied the second man, Tom.

"But how will we measure who's goes the highest?" inquired Jim, the third man.

"Simple,...

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