Cell Phones Jokes - 14 Hilarious Cell Phones Jokes

What do cell phones order at dinner?

Apps.

This must have been written before cell phones

Two guys were taking Chemistry at the University of Mississippi. They did pretty well on all of the quizzes and the midterms and labs, such that going into the final they had a solid "A". These two friends were so confident going into the final that the weekend before finals week (even though the ...

TIL that the majority of car companies make cell phones,

Except for Dodge, they just make Chargers.

People are always worried about their cell phones or microwaves spying on them. Truth is, those are not the appliances you need to be concerned about.

It's your Vacuum Cleaner that you need to be worried about....

....it's been collecting dirt on you for years.

If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation

You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer"

What do cell phones and babies have in common?

If you lose one, they’ll be dead in less than a week.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In the days before cell phones, a businessman wants to keep his wife "entertained" while he's away on business trips

In the days before cell phones, a businessman wants to keep his wife "entertained" while he's away on business trips. He tends to be away for a couple of weeks at a time, so he was always worried about his wife cheating on him. The man headed over to his local sex shop to see what he can find.
...

Middle age texting

The middle-aged couple had finally learned how to send and receive texts on their cell phones.

The wife, being a romantic at heart, decided one day that she'd send her husband a text while she was out of the house having coffee with a friend.

She texted:

If you are sleeping, sen...

What do they call mobile phones in prison?

Cell phones.

Giorgio, the Italian immigrant...

(long) ...came to the US back in the 1960s before digital photos, cell phones, or computers. He wanted to get a professional photo taken to be sent to his mamma in Italy to show her how well he was doing.

The photographer said he would be at Giorgio’s home at 11:00. But, Giorgio understood 1:...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You know you're ISIS if...

You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.

You destroy world heritage but believe we should plant trees.

You have more wives than teeth.

You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon 'unclean.'

You think vests come in two sty...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Japanese Golfer

Was rereading Harry Potter Book 2 and got to the Japanese Golfer joke line. Googled it. Enjoy, r/Jokes.

An American, a German and a Japanese man are golfing one day and, at the 3rd hole, they hear a phone ring. The American excuses himself, puts his left thumb to his ear, his left pinky finge...

A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with their husbands. The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?

All the women raised their hands.

Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?"

Some women answered today, a few yesterday, and some couldn't remember.
The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text their husband - "I love y...

How did the inmates communicate to their families after visiting hours?

Cell phones.

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