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Cautioning Jokes

Mom's Advice

Mom was cautioning daughter, "When your boyfriend wants to kiss you, then say "DON'T" and when he hugs you, tell him "STOP"
The daughter came back home happy.
Mother asked, "So you sure did what I told you to?"
The daughter said, "Yes Mom, I was so excited that I used both words together...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I drunkenly stumbled into the back of a taxi.

He looked at me and said, 'It will cost you £40 if you are sick on my seats, buddy. OK?!'

'Right,' I slurred. 'Gotcha...'

I was heaving all the way home. The driver was cautioning me. Eventually we stopped outside my house and he said, 'That'll be £55, then, please mate.'

I thre...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Always get a second opinion.

A guy started getting horrible migraines in his late teens. He went to the doctor who told him he has a rare testicular disorder that was restricting blood flow to his brain, resulting in the blinding headaches. Unfortunately, “the only way to be rid of them is to remove your testicles.”

“Who...

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