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Business Trip Jokes

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A man and woman, both married separately, had to share a room one night on a business trip.

They feel weird at first, but they both fall asleep in their separate beds.

After a few hours of sleeping, the man wakes the woman up and asks her, "Could you grab me another blanket from the closet? I'm really cold."

The woman responds, "Or we could just pretend to be married for the ...

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Business Trip or Pleasure?

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his:

Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted...

4 comrades go to a Soviet hotel for a night during a business trip...

As they walk into their room, 3 of them, whip out some vodka, food and cigarettes and begin to make jokes about the government and be very loud indeed. The 4th one is trying to get some meaningful sleep and knowing that it would be fruitless to ask them to stop, hatches an ingenious plan.
He goes...

An American businessman goes to India on a business trip...

but he doesn't like Indian food.

so he asks the concierge at his hotel if there's any place around where he can get American food.

The concierge tells him he's in luck; there's a pizza place that just opened, and they deliver. The concierge gives the businessman the phone number...

A woman goes on a business trip overseas, leaving her husband behind to look after the house and kids.

After a few days she calls up to see how everything is.

"Everything's fine" he says. "The kids are finally sleeping OK without you here, and my boss has given me an extra week off until you're back. Oh! I forgot to say, the cat's dead! She was hit by a car!"

"What!?" Says the wife. "A...

Back from business trip.

A mother-in-law arrives home from the mall to find her son-in-law boiling angry and hurriedly packing his suitcase..

"What happened?", she asks anxiously.

"What happened! I'll tell you what happened..
... I sent an email to my wife telling her I was coming home today from my busine...

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A man calls his home while on a business trip.

(I translated this joke from my native language so bear with me)

An unfamiliar voice answers the phone.
Man: "Who is this?"
Answer comes, "A am the maid."
Man: "What? there was no maid when i left a couple of days ago."
Maid: "I was hired yesterday and started working just...

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A man is on a business trip in Paris and gets lonely..

He decides to call down to the hotel lobby to see if they can arrange him an escort. Within minutes there is a knock on the door and he opens it to see a stunningly beautiful woman wearing a short tight dress. "Monsieur, what are you interested in tonight?" He thinks for a second and says "honestly,...

A man was away on a business trip, and decided to call his wife and to let her know he had arrived safely

A little girl picks up the phone. "Hello?"

"Hi, Honey. This is Daddy, is mommy near the phone?" Daddy asks

"No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with uncle Paul."

After a brief pause, Daddy says "But, honey, you haven't got an uncle Paul."

"Oh, yes I do, and he's upst...

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A man's wife gave birth while he was on a business trip.

The doctor called and asked, "Did you know you were having quintuplets?"
"I'm not surprised," the man replied, "I've got a dick like a stovepipe!"
"You should probably get it cleaned then," said the doctor, "because they're all black."

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A man goes on a business trip to Japan

In Japan, he picks up a hooker and they go all night long. The entire time they were making love she was excitedly shouting:
##Hasimota! Hasimota!
Since the man obviously didn't know a word of Japanese, he concluded it was some sort of an excitement noise. The next morning he meets with a few...

A man on a business trip went out for breakfast

When the waitress came to his booth, she asked "What can we get you?"

The man paused and said "I'll tell you what- I'd like the special, but I want my toast burned to a crisp, my bacon rubbery, my coffee weak and when you bring me the food I want you to yell at me."

Puzzled, the wait...

Employee comes back from a business trip to Brazil

Boss: How was your trip?

Employee: It was fine but I don’t like Brazil. The whole country is nothing but soccer players and hookers.

Boss: You do know that my wife is Brazilian, right?

Employee (flushing): Oh really? Which team does she play for?

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A man takes a business trip to a small town in a remote valley...NSFW

and when he checks into the only hotel in the town, he quietly asks the manager:

"Y'know, do you have any girls here, for, uh, 'nighttime favours'?"

"Not really", the manager answers, "we only have Bob."

The man is a bit confused, replies "Hm, no thank you" and goes to his room...

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Why did Mario get mad on his business trip to Japan?

Everytime he tried to shake someone's hand they would say "Bow Sir!"

Business Trip Pun

A man on a business trip went into a singles bar, approached two women, and offered either of them two hundred dollars to spend the night with him. One girl stormed out in a rage, but the other remained cool, calm...and collected.

A man goes on a business trip to Boston and wants to try out the local cuisine.

So, as he gets into the cab at the airport, he asks the driver "Where can I get Scrod?" The driver replies "Mister, I've been asked that question many times and in many ways but never before in the Past Pluperfect Possessive."

Wayne was returning home from a business trip,

bags in hand, and slowly making his way to his vehicle in the crowded airport garage.
Suddenly a large dark car screeched to a stop in front of Wayne, and the driver pointed menacingly at him. "Get in," the driver ordered. "I'll take you to your car."

Startled, Wayne took a step backward....

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Mr. Smith kisses his wife goodbye before she leaves for a business trip....

On the way to the airport, Mrs. Smith gets in a terrible car crash and is life-flighted to the hospital.

Mr. Smith receives a call from the police telling him about the accident and rushes to the hospital. There, he waits for hours while his wife is in surgery.

After many hours of wa...

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A man goes on a business trip

Eager to keep his wife out of trouble while he was away on a long business trip, a businessman went to a store that sold sex toys and started looking around. After browsing through the dildos for something special, he decided to ask the old guy behind the counter.

The old man said "We have vi...

A bumblebee suddenly wakes up in a cold sweat, realizing he has overslept and is about to miss his connecting flight home after a successful overseas business trip.

He makes a mad rush to the airport, suitcase in one hand, passport and airline ticket in the other. His tie flaps loose in the breeze, his shirt wrinkled and untucked, with his face covered in bushy bumblebee beard stubble.

He recklessly flies into the main entrance, nearly knocking over a fa...

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On a recent business trip...

I was checking-in to my hotel and I said to the receptionist, "I hope the porn channel is disabled."

"No," she said, "it's regular porn, you sick bastard."

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My wife is such an idiot

My wife is such an idiot.She went on a business trip yesterday and took a whole pack of condoms with her.

She doesn't even have a penis.

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Call me Trumper if you must, but I've got proof masks don't do shit.

Last Thursday my wife went on a business trip and they made her wear a mask the whole time - but she got chlamydia anyway!

Mike was driving home from a long business trip in Northern Arizona

Mike was driving home from a long business trip in Northern Arizona, when he saw an elderly Navajo man walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, he stopped the car and asked the Navajo man if he would like a ride. With a silent nod of thanks, the old man got into the car...

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A man going on a business trip visits a witch doctor for his wife

He explains to the witch doctor that his wife has a very high sex drive and he wants to make sure she can satisfy herself while hes gone. No ordinary item will do.

The witch doctor nods and says "I have just the right thing." And he pulls out a box. "This is a voodoo dick. It is quite easy to...

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Bianca's boyfriend (Brad) goes on a business trip...

A week goes by, and Brad gives Bianca the bad news that his business trip would be extended to one more week. Bianca, starting to feel a bit horny was not excited to hear the news but she thought "its just one more week, I can wait."

The second week goes by and Brad is still not home, so Bian...

My wife left for a business trip one morning.

And later that day our dog died. That evening, she called and asked how everything was and I told her, "The dog died!"

 

Crying into the phone she sobbed, "You could've broken the news to me gently!"

 

I asked her, "What should I have told you instead?"<...

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Husband comes back from the business trip early to surprise his wife

However his wife has a surprise of her own as she is busy with someine else in the bedroom. As soon as he enters the house and announces "surprise, I am home honey"

she gets scared shitless and hides the guy in wardrobe(closet?). while doing that his nuts are stuck in the door and are left ha...

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Business Trip [NSFW]

A nurse is making her rounds through a nursing home and pops into a room. The man is sitting in his bed animatedly acting like he's driving, "vroom vroom" sound effects and everything. The nurse says, "Ed, what are you doing?" "I'm driving to Chicago for a business trip," Ed replies.

The nu...

A wealthy man on a business trip calls home and the butler answers the phone: “Can I talk to my wife, please?”

The butler answers that she is currently in the bedroom with a man. “What?!! Take the rifle in my study, go to the bedroom and shoot them both - I’ll stay on the line”

“Very well, sir”, the butler answers and he walks away from the phone. After about a minute, the man hears two gunshots and a...

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A man goes on a business trip to Japan

During his first night in his small hotel room he decides to treat himself to the beautiful Japanese prostitutes he hears so much about from his colleagues when they go to Japan. He goes out and finds one and brings her back up to his room.

All throughout their sexual endeavors, the prostitut...

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A man returning home a day early from a business trip got into a taxi at the airport.

It was after midnight. While enroute to his home, he asked the cabby if he would be a witness. The man suspected his wife was having an affair and he intended to catch her in the act. For 100 dollars, the cabby agreed.
Quietly arriving at the house, the husband and cabby tiptoed into the bedroom....

A woman from Connecticut goes on a business trip to Arkansas...

...and, her meeting over and business concluded, she goes to the hotel bar to enjoy a quiet drink.

The bartender, hearing her order, says "Yew shore talk purty. Whar did yew go to school?"

Smiling slightly, the lady says "Yale."

Bartender draws a deep breath and says "YEW SHORE ...

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A businessman was about to go on a long business trip

and was worried that his wife would cheat on him while he was gone. So to prevent this, he visited the local sex shop in order to buy his wife a vibrator to keep her occupied in his absence.

After examining the products, he hadn't found an appropriately amazing vibrator and asked the store cl...

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An american man goes on a business trip to Japan...

He is really stressed out, so his Japanese business partner offers to hook him up with one of his favorite prostitutes. He agrees but is a little embarrassed. So, she meets him in his darkened hotel room. They get down to the dirty and she is incredible. She starts screaming "bushada!!, bushada!...

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A man goes on a business trip to Japan...

The night before his important meeting he decides to unwind with a hooker. As he's banging away, she screams "Nakamushi! Nakamushii!" not speaking much Japanese he assumes this is a complement to his outstanding performance.

His meeting the next day goes well and he's invited to play golf wi...

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My wife said if this post gets 100 upvotes, she’ll lose her anal virginity tonight.

Please don’t upvote, she’s on a business trip until next week.

A furniture salesman from Ontario was on a business trip in Quebec, selling furniture to various stores.

After a long day of selling furniture in Montreal, the guy was almost back in his hotel when he ran into a gorgeous woman who seemed to be interested in him. But he spoke no French, and she spoke no English. So he came up with a plan.

The guy pulled out a notepad and drew a picture of a taxi....

(NSFW) Dave went to a business trip in a foreign country...

after meeting with some of his collegues they decided to go drinking in some local bars. They got pretty wasted and hopped from bar to bar. The next day, Dave wakes up in his hotelroom with a massive hangover but without his wallet and passboard. The last thing he could remember was that he had been...

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The husband is going on a business trip.

Immediately before leaving, he says to his wife: "Honey! I am leaving for a long time and I understand that it will be difficult for you without a man. Therefore I constructed a robot. His name is Bob. As soon as you want a man, say: " Bob! "and he will do his job."

Just after the husband cl...

A Dutch Joke: A German is going to Amsterdam for a business trip

A German is going to Amsterdam for a business trip. After arriving he is walking while calling with his head office in German.

He then hears a boy behind him yell "excuse me sir! excuse me sir!"

The German turns around asks what's up.

The Dutch boy answers: "I am afraid you've l...

Round on a joke app: Three engineers and three accountants take a train for a business trip.

The accountants each buy themselves a ticket, then the engineers buy one. After turning to walk away, the accountants ask the other two engineers why they didn't get one. They say they don't need em to get there. "But how will you all ride the train?" Anyway, they all board the train and the three a...

On a business trip to S.Korea

I ordered a Corona last night, the waiter had a Chinese guy come out of the kitchen and cough on me, I think there was something lost in translation.

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A man goes to Japan for a business trip

The night before he meets a very important executive he's extremely nervous. So he hires a prostitute to help him relieve some stress. As they're having sex in his room, she moving around a lot and keeps yelling "machigata ana!" The man doesn't know what this means, but he figures that she's enjoyin...

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Three guys discuss whose wife is the most stupid.

"Mine bought a kitchen for $10,000 - and she cannot even cook!"

"Yeah, mine bought a car for $20,000 - and she cannot drive!"

"Ah, that's nothing. Mine bought 100 condoms for a business trip - and she does not even have a penis!"

Arranging a business trip.

"Hello I need to book a business trip to Thailand."

"Are you going to Bangkok?"

"No, I'm just going to Phuket."

A man and his wife are on a business trip

A man and his wife where on a business trip. It was supposed to only take 1 day, and they expected to be home that night, but it took longer than expected and tired of a long day having a meeting, they decide to stay in a hotel and return the next day.

They slept well and the next morning, th...

An Englishman and a Laotian go on a business trip together

The Englishman stops by the hotel room of his co-worker and mentions "The pillows here at the hotel are terrible. They are too big and fluffy and my neck really hurts this morning."

The Laotian says "I noticed, so I made my own pillow by getting feathers from the birds on the roof. Here try...

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So a woman was in bed with her lover when her husband unexpectedly came back early from a business trip.

She said, "Quick! Stand in the corner." And she quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder. "Don't move until I tell you to," she whispered. "Just pretend you're a statue."

"What's this, honey?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.

"Oh, it's...

A man was on a business trip in Paris

He goes to well known brothel and has the best time of his life. He goes out after, lights a cigarette and after a while he spits on the pavement.
A policeman passing by sees him spitting so he stops and tells him: 'You can't do this here, you are in Paris. I am sorry but you have to pay a 50€ f...

A man checks into a hotel on a business trip

The hotel is one of the most resplendent hotels imaginable, a surprise as the man was expecting rather bland accommodation. As comes with such high standards, there is a computer in the man's room.

He decides to send an e-mail to his wife, but unfortunately typed in the wrong messaging addres...

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[NSFW] so, this guy is going on a business trip,

and he doesn't want his wife to get horny and not have anyone to help, so he decides to get her a little gift. he heads on down to a sex shop, and he's looking at the dildos. "too short. too think. ... WAY too big.." so he goes up to the clerk and asks "hey, you have anything really special?" the cl...

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A man was visiting Japan for a business trip when he decided to buy a prostitute.

That night when the prostitute showed up to his hotel, he spent all night having his way with her. Though, all night, she keeps screaming, "Yoshimoto! Yoshimoto!"

Not knowing what she's saying, he thinks that it means something good.

The next day while conducting business on the golf c...

A man is on a business trip...

and decides to buy his wife some new lingerie. A saleswoman greets him as he enters an expensive lingerie store, and asks him how she can help. Then man replies, "I'm looking for something made with very sheer fabric".

The saleswoman leaves for a minute and returns with a semi-transparent pi...

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A phone call in a business trip...

I checked into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely so I thought I'd get me one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for a cab.

I grabbed a card on my way in. It was an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique, a lovely girl, bending over in the pho...

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A man is getting ready to go on a business trip...

He has been suspicious of his wife cheating on him. So he places under his bed a spoon attached to a string that hangs on the metal frame with a bowl of milk under it. He measures the weight of his wife in bed alone to make sure it is not in the milk unless there is more weight.

The man leave...

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At the airport for a business trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding announcement at Gate 35.

Then I heard the voice on the public address system saying, "We apologize for the inconvenience, but Delta Flight 570 will board from Gate 41."
So my family picked up our luggage and carried it over to Gate 41. Not ten minutes later the public address voice told us that Flight 570 would in fact b...

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A man is out of town on a business trip, and he decides to go looking for some action.

He finds and enters a bar, and is pleased to find that there are several good-looking women inside. Not just good-looking, actually, but beautiful, and all dressed to the nines in sexy outfits, made up to look their prettiest. It's what the Army calls a "target-rich environment". The only problem is...

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a man goes to japan on a business trip

...and he is bored on his first night so he hires a prostitute. she comes to his room and he furiously screws her. the entire time, she is saying "hoshi mota HOSHI MOTA HOOOSSHIIII MOTAAAAA!!!!!!!" he thought the sex was wonderful. the next day, after a business meeting, he goes to play golf with hi...

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A man goes on a business trip to Japan. The night before his big meeting, he hires a prostitute.

He really seems to be having a good time, because as they do their thing, she keeps enthusiastically saying things in Japanese over and over again.

The next day, he invites the Japanese businessmen out for a game of golf after their meeting. After a nice hole-in-one, he decides to try out a ...

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A man goes on a long business trip NSFW

While he is away he is worried his wife will miss him. To prevent this he takes a trip to his local adult store. Having never been there the vast assortment of adult toys takes him by surprise, not knowing what to get, the man approaches the shopkeep and explains his situation. The man smiles and...

When I left home to go on a business trip, my wife said, "Don't forget to write."

I thought, "That's unlikely. It's a basic skill afterall!"

A 17-year-old boy who works part-time at Pizza Hut drives up to park in front of the house in a beautiful Porsche.

Naturally, his parents know that there’s no way he earned enough with his after-school job to buy such a car.

“Where did you get that car?” his mom and dad screamed in shock.
“I bought it today,” replied the teen calmly.
“With what money young man?” his mom demands. “We know how much a...

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An American went on a business trip to Japan.

An American went on a business trip to Japan. He arrives with a few free days to spare and so decides to go out for a few drinks. While out he meets a local and although they do not speak the same language they both feel an instant connection and head home to spend the night together. As soon as ...

Billy’s parents were about to leave for a business trip

They told Billy he would be staying at his grandma’s house for the week and they dropped him off on their way to the airport. Once his parents’ car had left the driveway, Billy started sobbing intensely.
His grandma asked “Billy, what’s wrong? Are you homesick?”
Billy replied “No. I’m heresic...

A guy went on a business trip.

A businessman with a wife and two kids was going on a business trip. His wife remind him to call her when he arrived at the hotel, to know if he arrived safely. When he arrived at the hotel he is given the the best room, which is on the top floor. The room had everything, multiple beds, TV, wifi and...

It's my cake day, so one of my favorite jokes ... A sixteen year-old boy came home with a brand new Ford F150.

His parents look at the truck and ask, "Where did you get that truck?!"

"I bought it today," he says. "With what money?" says his mother. They knew what a new F150 cost.

"Well," he says, "this one cost me just fifteen dollars."

The father looks at him like he's crazy. "Who wo...

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A man on a business trip in Spain decides to take in a bull fight

After the event, he stops in to the little restaurant next to the venue called "The Matador". As he checks out the menu trying to decide what he wants, he sees a waiter bring a dish to another customer.

The other customer starts eating what appear to be two large meatballs with great gu...

Wife arrives home late at night from a business trip..

..and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. But she notices four legs instead of two peeking from under the blanket!

Seized by a fit of rage, she reaches for the baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket until the screaming stops.

Still mad, she lurches to the kitchen to have a dr...

A father sees his son riding a brand new $200 bike

A father went on a 2 week business trip. He comes back home and sees his son riding a brand new $200 bike.
Father asks :“Hey son. Where did you get the money for the bike?”
Son goes: “From hiking.”
“Hiking?” The father asks. “How do you get money from hiking?”
Son replies: “Oh, Moms bo...

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An American businessman is on a business trip in Japan.

One day he decides to hire a hooker.

The whole night this Japanese hooker keeps screaming: "Hoshimota! Hoshimota!"

He can't quite remember what the word means, but he is positive that he pleased the hooker to the best of his ability.

The next morning he goes to play a game of go...

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A business man is leaving his wife for a week and has concerns about her straying while away.

He visits a number of adult toy stores looking for something that will keep his wife "busy" while he's gone. After hours of searching he eventually stumbles into a Chinese Herb and Erotic Tincture shop in Chinatown. After telling the old man running the store of his dilemma, the old shopkeeper think...

A man has his mother-in-law move in with him when she lost her job.

About a week later, he returns home from his job and finds her laying on the floor, unconscious. He calls 911, the ambulance comes and takes her off to the hospital.

He calls his wife and tells her she may have to cut her business trip short, but he'll keep her posted.

He gets to the ...

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A very busy man needs to leave on a long business trip...

In fear that his long absence will cause his wife to become disloyal, he decides to get her a way to please herself. The man buys his wife a magic dildo. He introduces the magic dildo to his wife, "Its magic! All you have to do is tell it what to do, and it'll do it!!"
In disbelief the woman d...

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Got lucky on a business trip to London

On a recent trip to London I hit the jackpot and was lucky enough to have sex with the Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton!
&nbsp;
After this amazing experience I have drawn 3 conclusions:
&nbsp;
1. Her tits are really firm, they are probably fake.
&nbsp;
2. She didn...

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A husband is leaving on another business trip

The husband, being worried that his wife will cheat on him while he is gone, decides to buy an adult toy for her. The husband goes to a sex shop and sees the guy working behind the counter. The husband, not knowing what to get his wife asks the cashier straight up, "I'm worried about my wife cheatin...

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A guy goes to China on a business trip.

While he’s there he bangs a bunch of Chinese hookers. By the time he arrives home in the U.S., his dick is covered in sores, swollen and hurts like hell. Guys goes to the doctor and the doc says “looks like you’ve got a pretty bad case of Hong Kong dong. We can get ya better but it’s gonna cost $3,0...

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A man goes to Japan for a business trip and decides to spice things up.

The night before the meeting, he goes out and meets a “friendly” Japanese woman who he takes back to the hotel. They get to action and all night the woman repeatedly yells, “Chigau! Chigau!”

The next day the man goes to the meeting and it follows up with Golf with the Japanese employees. As t...

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I was sitting at the bar by myself on a business trip over in Scotland...

...and there was an older gentleman all by himself at the end of the bar. I didn’t know anyone there, the bartender wasn’t too friendly so I stood up, walked over to the man to start up a conversation. I asked the bartender for a couple of pints and sat down next to the man.

“Hi there” I sai...

A wife goes away on a business trip…

She calls home after a day and talks to her husband.

"How's everything going?"

"The cat's dead"

"Really? You can't just blurt it out like that! That's awful."

"What do you mean?"

"You have to break it to me gently. First you say something like 'The cat got up on th...

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A man is on a business trip in Japan

On his first night, he decides he wants to hire a prostitute, so he goes out and finds the best he can, with his limited Japanese.

He brings her back to his hotel room, and the entire time the two of them are going at it, she is screaming "Ana ga chigau! Ana ga chigau!" He, of course, couldn'...

A bank CEO goes to Russia on a business trip.

While touring around Moscow, he gets into a nice restaurant. After ordering his food, he sees a beautiful woman sitting in the bar, looking at him. They start making eye-contact and eventually the CEO invites her over, being the nice gentleman he is. She accepts the invite and sits across the table....

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This is the last straw,I'm now divorcing my wife. At first,it was some drunken one night stand during business trip, then it was her boss, our pool guy, pizza delivery guy , her very own stepbrother and even my own best friend...

I just can't stop sucking cocks ..

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A man is often sent on business trips...

And discovers that during most, his wife would cheat on him. Being such a forgiving man he decided to ask his wife of she could stop if given an amazing sex toy. His wife agreed as long as it was amazing.

He proceeds to the local sex shop and asks the clerk for the best sex toy he's got in S...

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So, a man goes on a business trip..

To Japan, he gets there during the night and is pretty nervous about the business meeting so he decides to order up a prostitute, a fine lady walks into his room and they make love for hours, the entire time she is going wild, taking it from behind and screaming "Machigatta ana" after he finishes he...

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A man was on a business trip to Japan

On his first evening there he met a nice lady, one thing let to another and they ended up in his bed. During sex she kept screaming 'Hai To, Hai To' - the man was flattered, because he thought she was complimenting him.

The next day he was playing golf with his japanese business partners, one...

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A woman comes home early from a business trip..

And finds that her husband is in bed with a goat.

The woman ofcourse goes ape shit.

"why the fuck is there a goat in our bed"

The husband replys, "Honey, this is the pig i've been fucking while you're away"

Wife - "That's not a pig you idiot, it's a goat"


Husb...

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This guy is going on a business trip, and his girlfriend wants him to tattoo her name on his dick...

So he lands in Jamaica. Before leaving the airport, he has to take a leak. He's at the urinal, and this tall, dreadlocked Jamaican goes to the urinal next him.

This guy can't help it, he peaks. And to his surprise, this Jamaican's dick is tattooed with what appears to be the same name.
She...

A man goes on a business trip to Liverpool. He has to make a long journey by taxi.

During the journey, the driver decides to break the monotony and says to the man, “Do you like riddles?”


“Oh yes,” says the man, “I think so.”


“OK,” says the taxi driver. “Try this one: ‘Brothers and sisters have I none, but this man’s father is my father’s son.’ Who is it?...

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A man is on a business trip in Las Vegas...

...after he checks into his hotel he decides to relax with a cocktail at the hotel bar. While sipping his drink, a beautiful woman catches his eye and they strike up a conversation. It turns out she's a prostitute so he decides to invite her up to his room.

Up in his room, he asks, "How muc...

A woman on a business trip calls her husband to check on her cat.

“How’s Princess Fluffs?” she asks.

“Oh, she died this morning, honey. Ran into traffic. Sorry.”

His wife breaks into sobs, and he feels terrible. When she gathers her composure she yells at him,

“How can you break the news like that to me? You have no sensitivity whatsoever.”...

A man phones home from his business trip...

His 9yo son answers and says hey.

"Hey buddy, it's dad! Wheres youre mom?"

"I will check", replies the son as he walks to his parents' bedroom and sees his mom in bed with uncle Jim. "She is playing in bed with uncle Jim"

"What?! Uncle Jim?! Tell them I will be right over!" the ...

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An American businessman on a business trip in Japan meets this beautiful Japanese girl at a bar.

She hardly understands any English and he tries his best to communicate with her using sign language. She is very amused.

They both end up in bed together and "get it on“!
It's pretty dark in the room and all the guy hears is the girl screaming "TSING TO"!!!!
To him it sounded somethin...

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A man boards a plane after a business trip...

... and he sits next to a gorgeous blonde woman. He notices that she's reading a book called "100 Facts About Sex You Never Knew" and asks her if it's any good. She says, "Yea it's really interesting. Did you know that statistically, Native American men have the thickest penises of any race?" "Oh wo...

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In the days before cell phones, a businessman wants to keep his wife "entertained" while he's away on business trips

In the days before cell phones, a businessman wants to keep his wife "entertained" while he's away on business trips. He tends to be away for a couple of weeks at a time, so he was always worried about his wife cheating on him. The man headed over to his local sex shop to see what he can find.
...

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A married man on a business trip walks into a brothel.

He walks up to the cashier, puts 500 dollars on the counter and says "I want your worst looking girl and a cold ham and cheese." Shocked, the woman behind the counter says "but sir, for this much you could have one of our best girls and our most expensive dish!" The man nods his head, "I know", he s...

A man comes home from a business trip and knocks on the door

The wife opens the bedroom window and whispers to her lover: "Jump!" The lover says : "Are you nuts? We're on the 13th floor!"

Wife: "Jump, there's no time for superstitions!"

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A business man is going away for a business trip and is afraid that his young beautiful wife will stray.

He goes into a sex shop hoping to buy a toy that will keep her occupied until he returns and after explaining his situation to the lady behind the till she shows him the shops best toy.

'This is a magic dildo' she says 'all you have to do is say 'magic dildo' followed by the name of what you ...

Did you hear about the man who went on a business trip?

A few months after he got home he got a call from a woman he had spent some time with while he was out of town. "Remember me from a while back? We had a few drinks and I was a good sport; we had a good time." He said, "Of course how could I forget about you Janet?" She told him, "Well, I just found ...

Bob has to go on a business trip

Bob has to go on a business trip and books himself a flight on TWA. He boards the plane, finds his seat and gets ready for take-off. A few minutes after the plane is in the air, the flight attendants start going down the aisle to serve drinks. A very attractive stewardess says to Bob, "Sir would you...

A man went to New York on a business trip...

When the trip was over, he took a cab to get to the airport. The cab driver decided to have a little fun at the man's expense, so he asked, "My mother had three kids, one was my brother, one was my sister, who was the third?"

The passenger had no idea.

The driver replied, "The third on...

Ole came home from a long business trip to find his son riding a new 21 speed mountain bike.

"Vere did you get da money for da bike? Dat musta cost $500," he asked.

"It was easy, Dad," little Lars replied. "I earned it hiking."

"Come on Lars," Ole said. "Tell me da truth."

"Dat is da truth Dad!" Lars replied.

"Every night you ver gone, Sven, would come over to se...

A woman is waiting for her husband to get back from his business trip when she flips on the news and sees that a man is driving the wrong way on the airport highway.

She quickly calls her husband to tell him to “Be careful driving home, there’s an idiot driving the wrong way”

He says “One idiot? They’re all driving the wrong way!”

Mr. Steve Johnson, a businessman from Wisconsin, went on a business trip to Louisiana.

He immediately sent an e-mail back home to his wife, Jennifer. Unfortunately, he mistyped a letter, and the e-mail ended up going to a Mrs. Joan Johnson, the wife of a preacher who had just passed away. The preacher's wife took one look at the e-mail and promptly fainted.When she was finally revived...

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There was a businessman whose wife was REALLY into sex.

He was a hardworking guy but still managed to satisfy his wife's needs.

One time he had to leave for another country for a business meet. He would've been gone for a week.
He knew his wife's sex drive and didn't want to take risks so he thought he should gift her something so she can sat...

A man comes home early from a business trip on a Friday morning and find his wife in bed with one of his friends

He shoots and kills both of them and goes to prison. A few days later one of his other friends goes to visit him in jail and his buddy says, “Hey man, it could have been worse!”

The man says, “Could of been worse?!? I’m in jail about to be on death row and in the electric chair. How in the he...

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A man left for a vacation to Jamaica. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail message.

Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory.

Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving wi...

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The wife asked me, “When you’re on a business trip away, do you think about me?”

Apparently “Only to stop myself from cumming too quickly” wasn’t the right answer.

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My wife says that she will have butt sex if this hits the front page by the morning.

Please don't upvote she is on a business trip until tuesday.

The German in Poland

A German once went on a business trip by car to Poland.

The Polish police pulled him over.

"What's the purpose of your visit?", the policeman asked.

"Business!" said the German.

"Mhm."

"Occupation?" the policeman followed.

"No, no, no! Business, I said!" the...

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A man on a business trip goes for a jog down the beach...

...and after a few miles, he hears a woman calling to him. The man makes his way toward the woman, and as he gets closer it becomes apparent that the woman has no arms or legs. The torso-woman tells the man, "Sir, in my whole life I've never been hugged, could you please give me a hug?" Truly touche...

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A woman had five dogs. Her husband was sick of all the dogs.

He went away on a business trip, but before he left he put his foot down. No more dogs!

But the woman couldn't control herself when she saw a dog she just had to have.

"Well," she thought, "I'll just call him up and pretend I'm confessing to some infidelity or something. He'll be so re...

My computer notified me that my wife emailed me a picture of our newborn son since I was gone for a business trip

"You've got male!"

A man goes on an overnight business trip, and hires a babysitter to watch his two kids. It's an easy job with good pay, but she's creeped out by the life-sized clown statue he has in his den.

That night, the man calls to see how things are going.

The babysitter says: "Everything's great, the kids have been wonderful. But I had to throw my coat over that clown statue in your den. No offense but it's really creepy."

Horrified, the man replies: "*What?! I don't have a den! Gra...

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Three guys are having a few beers and talking about how dumb their wives are.

Guy1: My wife is so dumb she wants to spend $15,000 to redo the kitchen and she can't even cook.

Guy 2: That's nothing. My wife wants me to buy her a new $50,000 car and she can't even drive yet.

Guy 3: My wife is dumber that both of them. She bought 3 boxes of condoms to take on a bus...

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A business man is about to leave for a week-long trip and is worried his wife will chest on him.

A business man is about to leave for a week-long business trip and is particularly concerned that his flirtatious wife may cheat on him. He decided he wanted to purchase a sex toy for her to keep her occupied while he was gone. He walks into a sex toy shop and looks around for a bit before heading t...

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