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Bayou Jokes

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"12 Days Of Christmas - Bayou Style"

Day 1 Dear Boudreaux, Thanks for de bird in de Pear tree. I fix it
las' night with dirty rice. I doan tink de pear tree will grow
in the swamp, so I swap it for a Satsuma.


Day 2 Dear Boudreaux, You letter say you sent two turtle doves, but
all I got was two scrawny pigeon...

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A reporter walks into a bar

A reporter walks into a bar in a small Louisiana town. He's been sent by his editor in the big city to get a human interest story, and so he walks up to some burly guy in overalls and offers him a drink in return for the story of the best day of his life.

"Best day? Well, that must've been th...

A Ranger, a Bayou, and a few Marines

An Army Ranger was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana and he wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the Ranger ...

What is the loneliest bayou in Louisiana

Bayou Self

Most of the Alligator shoes sold are of low quality, so I went to the bayou to get my own

28 gators later and none of them are wearing any shoes

Alligator Boots

One day A Ranger decided he wanted to get himself some gator boots, and being a Ranger he wasn't about to go to a store for some. Instead he goes out to the bayou to find a gator to make himself some shoes.
So he comes across a local man and asks him where he can find a gator. The man gives him ...

So an Army Ranger wants himself a pair of Gator Boots...

But this being an Army Ranger, he's not just going to *buy* himself a pair of boots, no, he's gonna make his own. So he heads down to Louisiana and makes his way to the bayou. He finds a nice little bait shop, buys himself a nice knife, and asks the shop owner where he can find himself a decent size...

A young blonde, on vacation in Louisiana, wanted a pair of alligator shoes...

but was reluctant to pay high New Orleans prices.

She stomped out of the store and headed for the swamp.

Later, as the shopkeeper drove home, he spotted the blonde standing waist-deep in a bayou, shotgun in hand, with a huge alligator closing in.

She took aim and shot the creatu...

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A man walks into a bar

And orders a few drinks. As the night goes on, he notices a sign on the wall.

It reads FREE DRINKS FOR LIFE! TAKE ON THE BAYOU CHALLENGE!

The man asks the bartender about the sign, and the bartender replies.

It’s a challenge to see who the manliest man in the bayou is. If you...

What did one southern swamp say to the other southern swamp when it was going home?

Bayou!

What’s a NASCAR driver’s favorite song to sing to other drivers during a race?

Blue Bayou

No matter what State you live in, Louisiana is always close to it.

I guess you could say it's always close Bayou.

What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way?

Please move, I need to get bayou.

Did you hear about the plant in Baton Rouge Louisiana thats been producing spanish food since the 11th century?

It's a bayou tapas-tree.

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Boudreau goes huntin'

There was these two Louisiana Cajuns on the bayou.

One morning Leroy saw Boudreau in his boat floating down the bayou with a lawnmower in it. "Hey Boudreau the hell you gon do with that lawnmower?" "This here's a John Deere and I'm going deer huntin!"

Leroy shakes his head at Boudreau...

Boudreaux and Thibodeaux are sitting on the back porch one evening.

Thibodeaux hands Boudreaux a bottle of homemade bayou whiskey and says, "Boudreaux, I want you to have this bottle of whiskey as a gift from me to you."

Boudreaux thanks Thibodeaux and takes a swig out of the bottle.

Upon tasting the whiskey, Boureaux turns to Thibodeaux and says, "You...

What is it about tall creepy louisiana swamp dwellers that makes them naturally glow?

Their bayou loomin' essence

A blonde was on vacation in Louisiana with her boyfriend

She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes, but didn't want to pay a fortune for them. So she headed out to the swamp, determined to catch herself an alligator. Her boyfriend stayed at the hotel.
Later that day, she stood waist deep in the murky bayou water, shotgun in hand. She he...

Metal detectors are valuable archeological tools.

A Brit with a metal detector dug up a chunk of land along the Thames and found a few stray pieces of jewelry and copper cables buried 10 feet deep. The newspaper headlines read "Excavation proves telephony in Britain was widespread 100 years ago."

Not to be outdone, an Irishman dug up a secti...

A blonde women walks into a gift shop in Louisiana...

She sees alligator purses, belts and boots. She loves the alligator boots and asks the clerk how much. The clerk tells her they're 500.00 dollars. The blonde is disgusted at the price and tells the clerk she will go get her own, storming out of the store.

Later that day the clerk is driving ...

There once was a man from Alabama . . .

He was a nice fellow. An unsophisticated hillbilly type but amicable to be around nonetheless. He was known as Catfish Jeb around the bayou because of that one time a catfish bit him in the . . .

Well, where the catfish bit him isn't important, now is it?

One day, very tragically, Catf...

Boudreaux Joke

Boudreaux's wife don't come home one night.Boudreaux is sick with worry. Three days later Thibodaux comes to Boudreaux' door and tells him "I gots you some good news and some bad news" Boudreaux says" I'm a man,give me the bad news first". Thibodaux says " We just found your wife Clotilde dead, flo...

A Ranger goes gator hunting

A Ranger decides one day that he wants to go gator hunting and make some boots, so he gets dressed and packs his gear. He then stops at a local tackle shop to get some bait and tips on where he would have the best luck.

The shopkeep tells him where to go and sells him some bait and as the Ra...

The Rhyming Competition

The was a very classy rhyming competition and after a long day of working through the brackets there were only two contestants left.
While his opponent waited in a sound-proof room backstage, the defending champion takes the podium. His name is Preston Hughs, a scholar, gentleman, and has many of...

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Boudreaux lived down by the river in deep Louisiana.

On the other side of the river lived a guy named Clarence.

Boudreaux hated Clarence and Clarence hated Boudreaux. Every day since they were small children, they'd go down to their river banks and yell at each other across the river. They never really met each other because neither one could s...

Aligator boots

A man was on holiday in the depths of Louisiana, where he tried to buy some Alligator shoes. However he was not prepared to pay the high prices, and after having failed to haggle the vendor down to a reasonable price level, ended up shouting "I don't give two hoots for your shoes man, I'll go and ki...

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Boudreaux Goes Looking for a Job

Boudreaux got laid off from his job in Louisiana, so he needed a job. He headed to Mississippi where his cousin works at a logging company. He met with the supervisor for an interview almost immediately.

"Hi, I'm Boudreaux I'm lookin' for a job."'

The supervisor looked Boudreaux up and...

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