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Attack Dog Jokes

Attack dog

A couple living in a dodgy neighborhood agree to get a mean-looking dog for protection. The wife goes to a breeder and tells him what she needs. He points to a tiny, chiuaua-like dog and says "Ma'am, that's the meanest one we have." She obviously doesn't believe him so he says "Attack dog, the fence...

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ATTACK DOG

A man wanted a big, veracious dog to protect his business, so he visited a kennel that specialized in attack dogs. The man explained to the kennel owner that he wanted the biggest, meanest, most vicious dog in the kennel, and the owner offered to take the man on a tour of the premises. After they ha...

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The Attack Monkey

After recently being robbed, a middle-aged wife tells her husband to go out and buy an attack dog. So the next day, the man goes out to his local pet store. "Hello sir, I would like to purchase an attack dog." The store clerk shakes his head. "Sorry, we don't sell attack dogs here. But we DO have an...

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A man and his new guard dog

A guy and his dog walk into a bar. The guy orders a beer and the dog flops down on the floor and immediately starts licking its butt. "This is my new attack dog," the guy tells the bartender. "He's very dangerous." The bartender looks at the dog that is still flopped down, panting, licking. "He does...

What has four legs and one arm?

An attack dog in an elementary school.

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Haven't seen the gorilla on a building joke. It's my favorite.

An apartment manager comes into work and his high-rise one morning and finds a gorilla five floors up hanging on the side of the building. He calls animal control and they say they'll send their best man out.

Animal control truck pulls up half hour later, and a big guy jumps out, introduces h...

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