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Police Dog Jokes

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Two female police dog handlers are walking their dogs

One says to the other, "I left my panties at the police station." The other says, "Let the dog have a whiff of your cunt and he'll go and fetch them."

Fifteen minutes later, the dog returns with her panties, her baton, a broomhandle and two of the inspector's fingers.

In America police dogs are K9

In China they are E10.

How's life as a police dog?

Ruff

Purebred Police Dog

A woman saw an ad in the local newspaper which read: "Purebred police dog $25."

Thinking that to be a great bargain, she called and ordered the dog to be delivered.

The next day a van arrived at her home and delivered the mangiest-looking mongrel she had ever seen. In a rage, she tele...

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How do you motivate a police dog?

You remind him that snitches get bitches.

What do you call a police dog that's on drugs?

a cocanine

So there was a police officer and his police dog...

The officer called the dog Joke, as it made him laugh always. Regardless, he loved the dog. However, one day the dog was demoted and reassigned to another Buddhist officer who wanted a dog to help him abstain from material things. The first officer was, of course upset. One of his friends he worked ...

How do police dogs save up for retirement?

A 401-K9

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Two cops, a man and a woman were heading out for a day's work, walking the beat with a police dog at their side...

A few blocks away from the station, the woman suddenly stops. "Dammit! I was in such a hurry to get ready, I forgot my panties back at the station. We have to go back."

"No we don't," the male cop says. "Old Ralphy here is specially trained at evidence retrieval. Just let him sniff your crotc...

I saw an advert selling a trained police dog for £25 in the local paper, saw a bargain and bought it.

When the current owner brought it round a mangy mutt jumped out their car.

I said 'There's no way that's a Police dog'

The owner replied 'Don't let looks decieve you, he worked undercover'

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There once was a police dog...

The K-9 unit had decided to get some new dogs to sniff out drugs and the like. One of them happened to have an exceptional talent for this, and while training this dog, several notorious local drug dealers had already been caught. Eventually, the dog was assigned to a cop, and the cop named the dog ...

Do you know why police dogs are called the K-9?

Because if it were called the K-10, they would be police cats

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Two cops and a police dog..

Two cops and a police dog walk down the park, as one of the men starts to inspect the dogs butt. 'What are you doing?', says the other.
'Just checking if our dog has two assholes.'
'Why would you do that??'.
'I hear people say, there's the dog with the two assholes a...

Two dogs and a cat die and go to heaven.

Two dogs and a cat die and go to heaven.



They are brought before God, who interviews them to determine their fate. He asks the first dog, "What did you do when you were alive on earth?"



The first dog answers, "For 15 years I was a guide dog for a blind person. I was kil...

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Why dogs sniff each other's bottoms

A long time ago, dogs used to have detachable bottoms. The polite thing to do when they went places was to remove their bottom and hang it up on a hook. Kind of like a hat on a hat-rack.



Now this was a time of prohibition. The local mob boss was running a speakeasy in the basement of...

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A Blonde and her dog...

One hot summer day, a blonde came to town with her dog, tied it under the shade of a tree, and headed into a restaurant for something cold to drink.

Twenty minutes later, a policeman entered the restaurant and asked, 'Who owns the dog tied under that tree outside?'

The blonde said it...

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A farmer goes to town with his dog

to buy some supplies. While there, he ties his dog to a tree and goes into a bar for a drink.

The town cop eventually showed up and asked if that was his dog tied up outside. “Yes, why?” Asked the farmer.
The policeman says “I think it wants to get bred”. To which the farmer replied, “N...

This police dog comes up to me and starts sniffing and wagging his tail, and I say "hi there, boy, can you smell my dog then?"

And the handler says "No, sir, this is a sniffer dog -- he only alerts for narcotics", and I say "heh, yeah, my poor pooch has such a habit..."

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Police Officer George with his duty partner woman Police Officer Mary along with their police dog had been assigned to walk a beat.

They had been out only a short time when Mary said: “Damn, I was running late this morning I forgot to put on my panties! It is so uncomfortable without my panties. We have to go back to the station to get them.”

“We don’t have to go back,” George replied.

“Just give the dog one sniff...

Police dog

One evening, a deputy in the canine division was dispatched to the scene of a possible burglary, where he discovered the back door of a building open. He let the dog out of his patrol car and commanded it to enter and seek. Jumping from the back seat, the dog headed for the building. After lunging t...

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A joke I tried to translate from Slovene

2 cops walking down the street with their police dog. Suddenly one cop starts staring at the dog's ass. Other cop notices it and asks him "What is wrong with you, why are you staring at the dog's ass"
He replies " I just heard a kid saying "Look a dog ! with 2 assholes""

On a hot day, a 'good ol' boy stopped at the tavern for a cold beer, leaving his hound dog tied to a parking meter in front of the joint.

One Beer Led To Another, And Soon A Cop Came In And Said, "Is That Your Dog Outside?" "Sure Is," Said The Redneck. "Well, I Want You To Know She's In Heat," Said The Cop.. "No she ain't. I tied her in the shade." "No, no! I mean she needs to be bred." "That's stupid. How can a dog be a loaf of bread...

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A redneck's dog is in heat and he walks in to a bar...

He ties the dog up to a tree outside. A police officer walks by noticing the dog is in its period and wants to be free to mate with other dogs.

The police officer then walks in to the bar and find's the dog's owner. He says to the man, "Your dog is tied up outside and she's in heat?" being no...

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A blonde is walking her dog down the street...

when she decides to stop for a coffee in a little cafe on her street. She ties her golden retriever up to a lamp post and heads inside. The woman doesn't realize that her female dog is in heat, and a crowd of horny males quickly begin to gather around her.

Meanwhile, a police officer notices ...

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The Trucker and His Dog [NSFW]

A truck driver was sitting in a truck stop down in Mississippi when a State Trooper walked in and asked who's dog was sitting outside of the truck stop.

Driver: "That's my dog out there sir, is something the matter?"

Trooper: "Nothing is the matter driver, I just happened to notice yo...

Cats and Dogs

God was relieving St. Peter at the Pearly Gates one day when 2 dogs and a cat arrived.

God said to the first dog, a labrador, "Why should I allow you into heaven ?"

The dog replied "I was a loyal dog to my master and I drowned after I had saved his baby son in a flood"

"Excellen...

Hey, check out my new dog!

"He used to be police dog down in Florida."

"Oh, what breed is he?"

"He's a meth lab."

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A Newfie goes to a bar.

One sunny day, a Newfie was walking his dog down the street, when he noticed a bar along the way. He wanted to grab a nice cold beer, so he tied his dog's leash to a nearby tree, in the shade where it's cool. As the Newfie sits down at the bar and orders a beer, a police man walks in, and asks every...

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