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Anger Management Jokes

Effective Anger Management

A woman goes to the Doctor, worried about her husband 's temper.

The Doctor asks: "What's the problem?

The woman says: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every day my husband seems to lose his temper for no reason. It scares me."

The Doctor says: "I have a cure for that. When it ...

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Anger management

My therapist told me that a great way to let go of my anger is to write letters to the people i hate and then burn them. I did that and I feel much better but I am wondering, do I still keep the letters?

I received a flier on anger management the other day

I lost it

I've recently developed a treatment for anger management issues.

It's called "Damitol".

Why doctors also need to attend Anger Management course?

A woman comes running to the doctor shouting and screaming in pain "Please doctor, you've got to help me. I've been stung by a bee."

DOCTOR: "Don't worry; I'll put some cream on it."

WOMAN: "You will never find that bee. It must be miles away by now."

DOCTOR: "No, you don't unde...

So I just started anger management

Apparently it's all the rage right now

ANGER MANAGEMENT

Husband: "When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?"

Wife: "I clean the toilet "

Husband: "How does that help?"

Wife: "I use your toothbrush."

My wife keeps telling me I need anger management

My psychiatrist keeps telling me I don’t have a wife and I need stronger medication for my hallucinations.

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My therapist told me to listen to classical music before work to help with my anger management issues.

This morning I woke up and chose violins.

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I called the anger management helpline.

They told me to fuck off and call back later.

An eye is going to anger management

The counselor asks the eye “why are you currently in anger management?” To which the eye responds “Eyelash out at people when I get angry and I can’t stop.”

Did you hear about the mime artist who tried to become an anger management counselor?

He eventually drove everyone up the wall.

Anger management classes seem to be getting popular nowadays.

You could say they’re all the rage.

What do you call a protein that has anger management issues?

Amino acid!

Why did the saxophone player have to go to anger management?

He had a bad ALTOtude problem.

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People keep telling me to take an Anger Management class, but I don't understand why...

I already know how to piss off management, why would I need to take a class for it?

What type of books never get read?

I've a lot of books on procrastination. I didn't find the time to read them.

I've a lot of books on memory trouble. I don't know where they are.

I've a lot of books on anger management. They're all damaged.

I've a lot of books on DIY Furniture repairs. They serve as legs of tabl...

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There are two old ladies at a park. One is rich while the other one is poor. It was the Rich lady's birthday last week.

"my husband got me a diamond ring for my birthday" says the rich lady

"that's nice!" says the poor lady

"he also got me a Mercedes C class" says the rich lady

"that's nice!" says the poor lady

"so what did yours get you?" asks the rich lady

"a book about anger mana...

A lady finds out that she is pregnant, but she is worried.

He husband has anger management issues, yelling a lot, breaking things, really horrible to be around. She doesn't want her kids to be like that, so she asks her doctor for advice. Her doctor says "Rub your belly once a day every day and say 'Be polite, be polite.' "

So she starts doing so. Bu...

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Two pregnant women are in the hospital waiting to be induced.

One woman says to the other: "For our first child, my husband bought us a brand new car!"

The other woman says: "That's nice."

The first woman says: "For our second child, my husband bought us a new house!"

The other woman again says: "That's nice"

The first woman looking...

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I took this art class and the teacher said, “draw anything.”

So, of course, your boy likes wordplay, so I decided to draw water.

I call the teacher over to look at my artwork that I finished and she said, “You didn’t draw anything.”

I said “Yes I did.”

She said, “No you didn’t.”

I said “Um... last time I checked, water was clear, s...

My favorite bad Christmas joke

Dolf is the weatherman at KTVY, the local CBS affiliate in Kansas City. He's also a closet communist, and has a bit of an anger management problem. During their Christmas Eve broadcast Dolf forecasts a cold and rainy Christmas day, then turns it over to Erin, the anchor he's been dating for the past...

Bus driver

There was once a bus conductor, and he had really bad anger management problems, One day a woman on the bus refused to pay the fare. Well, the bus conductor got so angry he killed her. He was tried and sentenced to death by the electric chair.

The day for his execution came, and they took him...

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