My wife crashed the car listening to Adele,

She was rolling in the jeep

Why was Adele's phone bill $500 this month?

She must have called a 1,000 times

What did Adele say when she saw her ex-boyfriend at the playground?

HELLO FROM THE OTHER SLIIIIIDE

Why did Adele cross the road?

To say hello from the other side

How does the ghost of Adele scare people?

She sneaks up on them and says hello from the other side.

What did the cow say to Adele as she walked past its field?

“Hello from the udder side.”

What do you call a computer that sings?

Adele

Did you hear Adele got a really bad sunburn?

She details the experience in her new song, "Aloe From the Other Side"

Did you know that Adele used to be a loan collector?

One day she got frustrated and asked herself "Should I give up, or should I just keep chasing payments, even if it leads nowhere?"

[Edit: typo]

Adele is going to release a single to fit the mood of 2020...

I hear it’s going to be titled “Rolling in the Deep State”

What PC does Adele use?

A Dell.

What did Adele name her sandwich shop?

A deli

What was the first computer to get a hit single?

Adele

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Can I have a free drink if I show you something amazing?"

The bartender agrees so he pulls out a tiny piano, a frog and a hamster. The hamster starts playing the piano and the frog starts singing Adele. As the bartender gets him his drink a punter asks him "how much for the singing frog?" The man replies "I'll sell him for £100 if you want?" And the punter...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I sent an Adele album to a guy who bought it on eBay, anyway his payment cancelled and I'm out of pocket ....

Should I just give up or should I keep on chasing payments

Just found out that global pop megastar Adele ripped off one of my songs for her debut album!

I don’t know if I can be bothered to take her to court over it though. Should I give up, or should I just keep chasing payments?

What did Adele say when asked where her dog is?

Groomer has it

Singer Adele was rushed to the hospital after a fatal car accident

Paramedics said they found her rolling in the jeep.

Adele called her first albums 19 & 21 because they are numbers that have special importance to her life

Her follow up 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510 is due out next month.

A vegan said to me, "people who sell meat are gross!"

I said, "people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer."






credits to Adele Cliff, from the Edinburgh Festival Fringe. Link in the comments

Where in internet can you find adele?

Deep web. She's usually rolling in there.

I took my laptop on the fishing boat one day when it fell in...

It was Adele, rolling in the deep.

As a musician, I've learned the best way to win a Grammy...

...is to not release your music in the same year as Adele.

why do apple computers dislike love songs?

they are all done by Adele!

Adele names albums by numbers, relating to important things in her life.

Her next is rumoured to be called 3.14159265359

10 best one-liners from the 2019 Edinburgh fringe

**"I keep randomly shouting out 'Broccoli' and 'Cauliflower' - I think I might have Florets".**

The gag won 41% of the vote.

## Best of the rest

Ten jokes made the 2019 shortlist. Here are the next nine:

* "Someone stole my antidepressants. Whoever they are, I hope they'r...

A man from Brooklyn...

A man from Brooklyn who worked for an entertainment company was tasked with with looking after meals for singer Adele, who was in town for a performance one day.

It was known throughout the business that she refused to work on an empty stomach and that this job was crucial to the success of ...

An 11-year-old student of mine just told me this. What do you call a singing computer?

Adele.

Why can't a Mac sing?

Because it's not Adele

If I have 5 pies in one hand and 6 pies in the other, what do I have?

Adele’s undivided attention

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