What does a pirate call renting cheap accomodation?

Arr'Bnb.

Austria declares war on China:

„We have 200 soldiers and 3 Tanks“

China accepst: „We have 4 Million Soldiers, a Million Tanks an a couple hundred nuclear warheads“

Austria replies:„We abort the declaration, we can't provide enough accomodations for the war prisoners “

An ant walked into a man's house

The ant requested the man to stay in his house. The man was polite and allowed it to stay with him without paying rent. After a few more days, another ant, hearing the news about the free accomodation also came and asked for a home. He allowed both of them to stay for free because they were tiny and...

I friend of mine has two tickets to the Super Bowl.

They are box seats, and include travel and hotel accomodation. He didn't realise when he bought the tickets that it was the same date as his wedding - so now he can't go.

So if you're interested and want to go instead of him. It's at St James's Church in Bootle at 3pm. Her name is Susan. She ...

I'm actually an amazing swordsman

I got so good at beating the competition that they confiscated my gun

Then they gave me an orange suit, free accomodation and randomized tournaments with makeshift weapons

Kind of a big deal

I went up to a homeless man sitting on a bench in the town centre today with a cup of coffee for him.

I sat next to him and asked how he'd got in this position. He said to me "You know, three weeks ago I had it all, my own accomodation, a cook, good food, the internet,TV, I used to go to the gym,to the swimming pool, the library, everything" I replied, "Blimey, that's a bit rough, what happened, bad...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An englishman, a German and a chinaman crash on a deserted island...

A plane crashes in the pacific ocean, and only three survivors wash ashore a deserted island: An Englishman, a German and a Chinaman
(A more stereotypical joke setup you'd be hard-pressed to find).

So the German takes charge, tells the two others: "you brit, build us a shelter, I will go o...

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