UPJOKE

### For a change of pace, here's a limerick; "( (12 + 144 + 20 + 3 Sqrt[4]) / 7 ) + 5*11 = 9^2 + 0"

Sorry, did that not make any sense?

>"A dozen, a gross, and a score,
>
>plus three times the square root of four,
>
>divided by seven,
>
>plus five times eleven,
>
>is nine squared and not a bit more."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

### What did the mathematician say looking at 144 anuses?

That's disgusting

### I was counting the money in my wallet and I remembered my microbiologist friend saying that money is the dirtiest thing you can touch all day. Turns out I have \$144 in cash,

But I guess that’s just gross....

### Quarantine Joke: What's the difference between 144 rolls of toilet paper, and a hand job?

Ran out of toilet paper

### Bonus

A British General had sent some of his men off to fight for their country in the Falkland Island Crisis. Upon returning to England from the South American island, three soldiers that had distinguished themselves in battle were summoned to the General's office. "Since we weren't actually at war," the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

### I couldnt stay with my girlfriend after I found out she had 144 sexual partner in her lifetime.

It was a gross amount.

### On a night out I saw someone had vomitted in the street in the shape of the the number 144

I thought, "eww, gross"

They were out of 2-liters.

### I was surprised to see that I weighed 144 pounds

When I stepped on the scale at my doctor’s office, I was surprised to see that I weighed 144 pounds.

“Why don’t you just take off that last four?” I joked to the nurse’s aide as she made a notation on my chart.

A few moments later, my doctor came in and flipped through the chart.
...

### My friend doesn’t like measuring me

her: you look thin - how much do you weigh right now?

me: *goes to scale* 144lbs why?

her: ewww gross

Gross.

### Why doesn't George RR Martin use twitter?

Because he killed all 144 characters

-stolen from /r/gameofthrones

### A blonde girl is tired of people making dumb blonde jokes...

So she decides to gather a stadium full of blondes to prove that not all blondes are dumb. She picks one woman from the crowd and asks her,

"What is the square root of 144?"

The woman thinks long and hard and answers, "Uhmmm, 7?"

The stadium starts chanting, "one more try!...

### Lord of the Bow

So I was telling my friend about my prowess with a bow and arrow yesterday. I said "my best round ever didn't start so well, I only scored 1 point with each of my first two arrows. Got better after that, scored 2 with the next, then 3, then 5. On my 12th and final arrow I managed to score 144."
<...

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### Robert Johnson, a CEO for a large corporation, is arrested and sentenced to 25 years in prison for white collar crimes.

On his first day behind bars, Robert nervously walks into the Chow Hall at lunch time and starts taking in the scenery. Realizing that he’s going to spend the next 25 years surrounded by murderers, rapists, and other violent criminals, he uncomfortably gets his tray of food and starts looking for a ...

### A man comes into his new job on his first day.

When he got there, his boss called a meeting. "This is Cadassi. I hope you will make him feel welcome." His co-worker then asks, "Where are you from?" He replies, I am from 13.4443° N, 144.7937°E, or as you know it, Guam. Another co-worker leans over to the first and whispers, "That was very S.Pacif...

### Coma victim...

A man wakes up after being in a coma for 20 years. Immediately he calls his bank to see how his savings have grown with interest over the last two decades and is told he has \$144,833,411, 19 in his account.

“Whooo- Hoo! I’m a multi-millionaire!”

He hobbles down the hallway giggling t...

### FEEL BETTER NOW

Mary was having a tough day and had stretched herself out on the couch to do a bit of what she thought to be well-deserved complaining and self- pitying.

She moaned to her mom and brother, "Nobody loves me ... the whole world hates me!"

Her brother, busily occupied playing a game, ha...