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Wooded Area Jokes

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2 Belgians are driving through a dark, wooded area

They encounter a roadblock and are stopped by a police officer. The officer looks over the car carefully. He then signals the driver to lower his car window, and says: "good evening, i need you to answer a few questions. You see, we are looking for a pair of serial rapists..". The driver interrupts ...

An American woman is hiking through Germany...

She's enjoying taking in the sights and immersing herself in the culture. But one day, while hiking through a wooded area, she comes across an elderly German man taking a leak on the side of the path. He's hardly subtle about it; letting his sausage hang out for the world to see. Immediately the wom...

Putins army is on an assault in Ukrainian.

And a platoon is making their way through a Wooded area when someone heard a twig snap over the hill in front of them.
The commander sends a scout out in front to find out what was in front of them. Some minutes go by and their scout calls out “an Ukrainian man is spotted about 200….. pzzz” and t...

Two priests drive around at night.

Going through a wooded area, they are stopped by the police. Seeing he just has stopped two men of the cloth, the officer mutters: "Excuse me, but we are looking for a child molester..." The priests stick their heads together, and after a short whispered discussion, exclaim: "OK, we'll do it!"

A man was killed by an assassin

An Irishman was killed by an assassin in his own home Thursday. Sources say the assailant was armed only with 2 porcelain figures. After beating the man to death, the assassin threw the body to several mongrel dogs that lived in a nearby wooded area.

Police claim it's the first known case of ...

Three women are running from the cops

after robbing a bank. One is blonde, one is redheaded, and the other of course is a brunette. After running through some wooded area, they come to a clearing and try to hide in a barn. When they get inside they see a few straw sacks lying on the ground. They decide to hide inside them.

One of...

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I'm scared Mister

So a rapist/murderer is walking into a deep dark wooded area with a 6 year old boy. They are pretty far into the woods when the young boy says: "Mister, I'm scared." The old man turns to the boy and says: "You're scared? I'm the one who has to walk out of these woods alone."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A squirrel walks into a bar and asks for seeds.

The bartender hands him a plate of seeds and he tucks in. Once the squirrel is done eating he immediately begins masturbating vigorously.

"Hey!" the bartender shouts. "What do you think you're doing?!"

"I'm a squirrel," the squirrel says. "Look it up."

The bartender looks up 'sq...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar

A man walks into a half empty bar and says to the bartender “If I show you something amazing will you give me a free drink?”

“You know bud,” the world-weary bartender says, “I’ve been in this business for a long, long time and it will take something pretty freaking special to impress me but ...

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