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Grassy Jokes

What is a group of mute performers standing on a grassy plain called?

A mime field.

Grassy Knolls are not funny...

...they are hill-areas.

So, there is this new strain of Marijuana called Grassy Knoll...

It is sure to blow your mind

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a couple was walking in the woods when his bf pulled his girl in a secluded grassy area.

the bf then hurriedly stared taking off his pants.

then the girl ask, "do i start taking off my clothes too?"

the bf then replied.

"why? do you also need to take a shit?"

A blonde is in a canoe in the middle of a grassy field.

As she tries to row toward the nearby road, another blonde driving on the road sees her and stops. She rolls down her window and yells,

"What are you doing?"
"Rowing to shore, I'm stuck in this sea of grass!" The blonde in the field replies.
"You idiot! It's blondes like you that give u...

A man and a dog walk into a bar

Both get up on stools and the bartender says "sorry no dogs"

"But my dog can talk"

Bartender: "Prove it"

"Fido, what is the top part of a house called"

Dog: "Roof, roof"

Bartender (annoyed): "You're going to have to do better than that"

"Fido, what is the hi...

This Spanish man on my lawn is so demanding

I keep giving him blankets to sit on and all he will say in response is 'grassy ass'

What did the Spanish cow say to the other cow when it wiped the grass off its rear?

Grassy-ass

A joke my granddad once told me.

I always loved this one, my granddad told it to me years ago. Still one of my favourites.



An elderly woman wakes one morning and looks out of her bedroom window. Across the road she sees two men from the local council office slowly making their way up the grassy embankment at the side...

What did the landscaper say after I helped them up from falling?

Grassy ass

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the Spanish dog say to his owner after he let him out to poop in the yard?

Grassy-ass

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What did the Chihuahua say to the homeowner after wiping its butt on the lawn?

Grassy-ass amigo!

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What would you say to a spanish person that planted grass seed on your butt

Grassy ass!

At a picnic my 5 year old Hispanic son came over to give me a drink..

He fell on the ground and I pointed at his pants and said "mucho grassy ass"

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What happened to the Spanish man who slid down a hill?

He got a grassy ass.

The Monk and The Cow

A humble monk sits at the peak of a hill that overlooks where the grassy Earth meets a river, and the river flows with the breeze, and the breeze explores a mountain range, and the mountains neighbor the sky, and the sky conceals the entire universe, hiding the unknown in plain sight. Softly, the mo...

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One fine day, the three billy goats...

One fine day, the three billy goats gruff went out for a walk. They took their usual path over the sweet grassy hills towards the river where they would cross the stone bridge and climb the mountain.

When they reached the bridge they were surprised to see the Troll waiting for them, stand...

A mechanical engineer, an electronics engineer and a software engineer where testing a new automobile..

Going down a hill the brakes started to fail. They careened down the hill at speed, screeching round the corners, narrowly missing cliff faces and sheer drops, and finally coming to a halt by steering up a grassy bank.



"Phew, that was close", said the electronics engineer, "I've got a...

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Working at the car dealership.

I was working at a car dealership and it had just recently rained when a large tractor trailer slid off the road into the grassy ditch. We decided to help pull it out so we hooked a chain to the tractor trailer and hooked the other end to one of the trucks we sell. But our truck just got stuck in ...

So two scientists invent a machine that can travel to other dimensions...

After much calibrating and testing and preparing, the scientists hop aboard their creation and activate it. There is a blinding flash of blue light and in an instant the scientists are sitting in the middle of a grassy field. There is no sign of their lab...or really anything familiar at all.
<...

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Saying Thanks in Spanish

The cowboy sat on a stool drinking a beer as the Mexican, also dressed in western garb, sat next to him. There was a slight nod as they looked at each other.

Soon the cowboy ordered another and bought one for the Mexican also. When their glasses became empty the cowboy bought again. Then a th...

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Walking the dog

A man is walking his dog, a Rottweiler, through the forest on a hot summer’s day when he comes to a clearing. In the clearing there’s a natural pond so he sits by the water, just enjoying the view and the peace, his dog lying by his side. He hears a noise and turns round to see another dog, a Golden...

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Little Johnny overheard a couple of girls in school

The kids were whispering "Purple flowers, purple flowers," and giggling. Curious what this meant, Johnny asked his friend.

"Jimmy, what does purple flowers mean?" Johnny asked.

Little Jimmy looked at Johnny in horror and said "I'm not gonna be friends with someone who says stuff like t...

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