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Wiki Jokes

Wiki joke

Officer: “I’m arresting you for downloading all of Wikipedia”
Man: “No wait! I can explain everything!”

How many Texas cops does it take to save children from an active shooter?

Still under investigation.







Edit: For those who assume I think any part of this situation is funny... [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black\_comedy](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_comedy). Also who gave me a Wholesome award? That's seriously messed up.

Edit ...

I saw a little boy at the bus stop eating a giant chocolate Easter bunny. I said, "Hey kid, eating that much chocolate at one time is bad for you." He looked me in the eye and said, "Well, my grandpa lived to 103."

"Oh, really? Did *he* eat a lot of chocolate?"

"No, he minded his own damn business."

**Edit:** Credit where due -- [/u/samvet21 informs me](/r/Jokes/comments/8cnjvk/i_saw_a_little_boy_at_the_bus_stop_eating_a_giant/dxhf9ku/) that the original joke was by Philadelphia comedian [Todd Gl...

Where do DJs do their research?

Wiki-wiki-wikipedia

What website has the information on all DJs?

The wiki wiki

Funniest joke in the world!

Not kidding. According to a study from the University of Hertfordshire, this is the funniest joke in the world:

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency servi...

Reflections on the Jonestown massacre of 1978

As a society, we sometimes tell jokes about some of the most horrific events--mass murders, disasters, and so on. Often the jokes start within a day or two of the catastrophe, even before the dead can be counted. Perhaps we do it as a coping or healing mechanism, or perhaps it's our only extant type...

Wikipedia walks into a bar.

[citation needed]

I was at the doctor's today and I learned I have Bartter Syndrome...

Wondering if anyone wants to trade?



(Yes that's a true syndrome, and come on, you knew the punchline before you read it).



[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bartter\_syndrome](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bartter_syndrome)

*mikedrop

Where do DJ's go for information?

They go to Wiki-wiki-wikipedia.

And the LORD said unto John...

"Come forth and receive eternal life."

But John came fifth and had to eat the biscuit[.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soggy_biscuit)

What do you call a crowd-sourced internet database for turntables?

Wiki-Wiki-Wikipedia

God made men, Sam Colt made them equal, and John Browning made them civilized.

Not mine. I find it funny, but I do admit some won't.

Source: http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Stubber

Edit: Added who Browning is: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Browning_machine_gun

I went to a job fair and loudly announced that somebody was either going to have to give me a job or drag me out kicking and screaming.

I'm an editor at WikiLeaks now.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

TIL that according to Cunnilingus's Law the best way to get the right answer on the Internet is not to ask a question, it's to post the wrong answer.

[Source](https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Cunningham%27s_Law)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A giant panda walks into a restaurant...

He orders some food, which is promptly brought to him by the waiter. The panda finishes his meal, gets up from the table, and pulls out a gun. He shoots the waiter and without saying a word, exits the restaurant.
The waiter, still bleeding, runs after the panda. He catches up with the panda and ...

What do you call an online encyclopedia for DJs?

A wiki-wiki-wi-wi-wi-kipedia

Two kittens are sitting on a roof. Which one falls off first?

The one with the smallest [μ](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friction#Coefficient_of_friction)

I lost a loved one recently and while I was sad at first, I'm okay with it now...

The wiki says they get brought back next season.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Meta-limerick

From [Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meta-joke#Joke_template)

There once was an X from place B,
Who satisfied predicate P,
The X did thing A,
In a specified way,
Resulting in circumstance C.

I saw a how-to page on record scratch and DJ techniques.

It was a wikki-wikki Wiki.

Dear Kids, there is no Santa.

Those presents are from your parents.


Love, Julian Assange - *WikiLeaks*.

Q: What do you call a trucker wearing a suit and tie?

A: the defendant

Source: I'm a trucker. (reformed)


For the young and/or foreign:

Defendant - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defendant‎
In a criminal trial, a defendant is any person accused (charged) of committing an offence (a crime), an act ...

My teacher said I needed to have an Intervention...

Who doesn't need a [sniper rifle](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CheyTac_Intervention)?

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