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Voyeur Jokes

What's the difference between a voyeur and a thief?

A thief snatches your watch.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Parrot Voyeur

A man went to a pet store where he saw a parrot hopping around in his cage saying, "Buy me. Buy me."

"Why should I buy you? What's different about you?"

"I don't have any legs."

"How do you sit on your perch?"

"I just wrap my dick around it and hold on."

So he boug...

One positive thing about voyeurs:

They tend to be real peephole pleasers

What do you call a Chinese voyeur?

A Peking Tom.

Why was Ash Ketchum arrested for voyeurism?

Because he had a Pikachu.

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What do you call a bisexual with a voyeur fetish?

A bistander

"Welcome to the Voyeurs With Telescopes society...."

"... Where we'll see you coming a mile away!"

The other day a woman described me as a looker

Well, ‘voyeur’ is the actual word she used.

I just paid £600 for a voyeurs club

They saw me coming

I have been described by some women as a bit of a looker.

Voyeur I think is the legal term.

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So it turns out that my girlfriend has been starring in amateur voyeurism porn videos.

Boy is she going to be pissed when she finds out!

Today a pretty girl told me I was quite a looker!

Well, voyeur was the exact word she used.

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First visit to a brothel (NSFW)

After several years of loneliness a man visits a brothel. He speaks with the madame at the front desk and he says, "It's been years since I've had sex, and I've never been to a place like this before. What can I get for twenty bucks?"

"Hmmm..." says the mistress, "twenty won't get you much i...

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A man with a foot fetish got a job giving women pedicures...

Sounds obvious, right? Probably happens all the time.

However, this particular voyeur was really bad at controlling himself and concealing his intentions. One day he was in the process of painting a woman's toes, but he took a bit too much pleasure in it, as doing so gave him an erection so...

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A kid walking along the road finds a welding mask...

He's walking along playing with the mask when a stranger stops and asks if he needs a ride. The kid is a ways from the part of town he's headed to so he accepts. After a bit the guy says "Hey kid, do you know what frottage is?" The kid says "Nope." The guy continues "How about voyeurism?" The k...

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