UPJOKE
matrussian languagepunarchenemypunch linewar and peaceperestroikajokeanecdotepoliticsrussiauntranslatablewordplayhussarball

Stalin is visiting a Young Pioneer camp.

He asks one boy, "What is your name, boy?"

"My name is Vovochka Karpov, Comrade Stalin" says the boy.

"So tell me, Vovochka," Stalin says, "who is your mother?"

"My mother is the Great Soviet Country!"

"Very good," says Stalin, "and your father?"

"My father is the ...

Stalin is planning a visit to a Soviet preschool

In preparing, all of the children are taught to say that all of the best things in the world are available in the Soviet Union.

So, Stalin with his officials and his bodyguards arrives at the school, and he starts talking to the kids and asking them questions:

Firstly, he asks young Al...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Colonel Isaev, a veteran of the Great Patriotic War, is invited to a school in Leningrad

He is telling the children about his days as a soldier in the Red Army and his war exploits. When he finishes, he asks the children if they have any questions.

Vovochka raises his hand, and the teacher tenses up.

"When I grow up, I want to be an intelligence officer and protect my Glor...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Russian Little Johnny Joke

In biology class, the teacher draws a cucumber on the blackboard: "Children, could someone tell me what is this?"

Vovochka raises his hand: "It's a dick, Marivanna!"

The teacher bursts into tears and runs out.

Shortly, the principal rushes in: "All right, what did you do now?...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

On the first day in a Ukrainian school, the teacher introduces herself to the children.

"My name is Marivanna and I am Ukrainian," she says. "Now introduce yourselves, children."

A young boy stands up and says, "My name is Taras and I am Ukrainian."

Next, a young girl stands up and says, "My name is Oksana and I am Ukrainian."

Another lad stands up and says, "My na...

A Russian Joke

One day in second grade class, Vovochka received another bad grade. He says to his teacher: "Marivanna, one day I will become a very big and very important person, and you will feel bad for failing me."

The teacher replies, "Putin, stop clowning around and sit down."

Old Soviet joke

On September 1, 1945, a second grade teacher asks her students who have war medals to share how they have helped the war effort.

A little girl raises her hand.

"Yes, Tanechka" says the teacher, "do you have something to share?"

Tanechka says "I was in the hospital helping to dre...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.