UPJOKE
viva vocevocevivevidarojaoralexamtestexaminationbusinessoral examinationoral exammusicabusinesslikenonbusiness

Viva Jokes

An Engineering Viva Exam

Students went for an Engineering Viva Exam...

The first guy goes into the class, and the Professor begins the Viva with a question. "Let's say you are traveling by train and it's getting hot. What will you do"? "Open the window", he answered.
.
Very good. The Professor continued... "...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The King of France, The King of England and The King of Spain are having an argument over who has the biggest penis.

Eventually they decide to let the people judge. They all stand on a stage in front of the people and drop their pants one by one.


The King of France drops his and the French crowd shout "Viva la France!!"


The King of Spain drops his and the Spanish crowd shout "Viva la Es...

Two engineering students are waiting to give their oral viva test.

The first student's turn comes, and he goes inside

External :- Suppose you are travelling by a train, and suddenly it gets hot, what will you do?

Student :- I will open the window.

External :- Great, now suppose that the area of the window is1.5 sq.m and the volume of the compa...

Viva la

A Frenchman, a Mexican, and a Texan are sitting on a bridge drinking their drinks of choice. Suddenly the Frenchman throws his bottle of wine into the air and shoots it yelling, "viva la France!" The Mexican follows his example and throws his bottle of Tequila up and shoots it yelling, "viva la Mexi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Frenchman, an Englishman and an Australian go exploring in the jungle.

Afer some time, they come across a beautiful lake and all decide to go swimming.

Afterwards as they leave the crystal-clear water they are captured by a local tribe and are brought before the chief.

The chief looks at them and says "All three of you were caught swimming in our sacred w...

An Brit, a Frenchman, a Mexican, and a Texan are in a flight when one of the plane's engines fails.

The crew throw all the luggage on the plane off to lighten the load, but they are still too heavy. The pilot goes on the intercom and says that 3 people need to jump off the plane to save everyone else. The Brit stands up and says, "God save the king!" before jumping to his death. Next, the Frenchma...

Med student was unable to identify an organ

So a viva exam was going on which the students had identify the organ shown and tell their functions.
There was this one student who was really struggling with identifying the organ that was shown to him. He was saying random organs like 'heart, kidney, liver etc'. The examiner eventually felt pi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Englishman, a Frenchman, and an American are in a plane that crashes in the Amazon...

They are swiftly captured by a tribe of cannibals. The leader of their tribe tells them that outsiders from the sky are to be sacrificed for the good of the people. They will be cooked alive, the village will feast on their flesh, they will make weapons from their bones, and use their skin for canoe...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Englishman, a Frenchman, and an American are captured by cannibals.

The leader says "we are going to kill you and then use your skin to line our canoes. But you can choose how you die."

The Englishmen asks for a pistol and says "long live the queen!" before shooting himself in the head.

The Frenchman asks for poison and says "viva la France" before dri...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Japanese man, a French man, and an American are traveling the amazon...

When out of nowhere, they're ambushed by a pack of head hunters and each one of them is knocked out. When they all come to, they are tied to wooden poles, a native man, the chief, standing before them. He says, "Now before we kill you, I want to let you all know, not a single part of your body will ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Classic

An Englishman, a Frenchman and a New Yorker are captured by cannibals. The cannibal chief says "we're going to kill you, eat you and sow your skins to make a canoe. But you get to choose how to die."

The English man pulls out a revolver, yells "God save the Queen!" and shoots himself in the ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Spanish, French and English king got in a debate about who had the best penis

The couldn't decide who had the best penis. They decided to ask an audience of 300 people. 100 British, 100 French, and 100 Spanish. When the 3 Kings arrived of stage, they started to take off their robes one by one.


The French king went first.
Gazing upon the smelly phallus, the Fr...

What's the catchphrase of the Typing Revolution?

Viva la fonts.

Everyone around me calls me aimless.

It was time for me to move away from all these toxic people to a whole new place. So, I bought a large US map, put it on the wall, and decided to move to the place my dart hits.



Viva la Vida, here I come, Rio.

A Mexican, Texan, a Brit, and a Spaniard are on a plane...

A Mexican, Texan, a Brit, and a Spaniard are on a plane, and suddenly the pilot says, "We are crashing, but I will be able to land if 3 of you somehow get off." The 4 people look at each other, doubting anyone will jump. Then, the Brit jumps out, yelling, "Save the Queen!" The Spaniard then jumps ou...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My 4 year old cousin told me this and I cracked up

Cousin: Knock knock

Me: Whose there?

Cousin: Weeneeda maka change butt

Me: Weeneeda make change butt who?

Cousin: Yes Michael, we need to make a change, but who? Who will be the first to stand up? We have burned through our resources leaving the planet cracked and bruised...

A British guy, a French guy, a Texan, and a Mexican are all on a boat together.

They sail on for a while, when suddenly a storm breaks loose. The boat begins to fill with water. Realizing that sinking in inevitable, the Brit screams "God save the Queen!", and then jumps off.

They remaining three are fine for a while, but water is still pouring into the boat. Realizing th...

A Frenchman, an Englishman and an Iowan are travelling down the Amazon River in a canoe...

They get abducted by Natives who tell them,

"We will use your skin to make conoes, you may kill yourself in any way you like."

The Frenchman asks for a knife and says, "Viva la France!" And he slits his throat and dies.

Next, they ask the Englishman how he would like to die. He ...

A French man, a German man, and a Polish man go skydiving

First, the French man jumps out of airplane. At the right time, he says "viva la France" and pulls the ripcord. Then, the German man jumps out and pulls the ripcord at precisely 1000 feet. Then, the Polish man jumps out of the airplane and he passes the 1000 foot mark but does not pull the ripcord. ...

Mile High Club

Airplane pilot comes on the intercom and says "folks, to save the lives of the other 127 people on this plane, 3 of you will have to jump."

Everyone looks around and finally a Frenchman stands up and says "in the name of France, I'll jump. Viva la France!" And he jumps out of the plane.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[long] An Italian, an Englishman, and an American shipwreck on an island..

They wander for a bit until they find a tribe of ritualistic cannibals, who conveniently speak English. These cannibals explain that they are to kill them, eat them, and turn their skin into canoes. However, they're not TOTAL savages, so they will allow the 3 shipwrecked to choose their cause of dea...

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Texan, and a Mexican are on a plane.

The pilot says, “We don’t have enough fuel to make it, we will need to push out all of our cargo”
The people all push out every last seat and bag that they have, and the pilot regretfully tells them that it is not enough. He says, “3 of you 4 will have to jump out of this plane,”

The Engli...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three explorers: one from England, one from France, and one from New York went into the jungle...

One day on their journey a group of native tribesmen found and captured them. After being taken to the camp of these natives, the explorers were brought to the chief of the tribe.

He told the explorers. "For trespassing on land sacred to our people, you are to be killed and your skins turned...

An Englishman, a Frenchman, and an American are walking through the jungle when they are captured by cannibals.

They are brought before the cannibal chief. He says, 'I have some good news, and some bad news. Bad news is when you are dead, we are going to eat you, use your bones for tools and make canoes out of your skin. Good news is that you choose how you die.'
The Englishman asked for a sword, said 'Go...

A Scotsman, an Englishman and a Frenchman are walking through the jungle...

They’re very tired, and they decide to take a shortcut across a nearby river to quickly reach their camp.

As they cross the river, a tribe of savages charge out of the trees and surround them. The tribe Chief steps forward and says

“This river sacred ground... you trespass on sacred ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Frenchman, a Englishman, and a American go to a rainforest

A Frenchman, a Englishman, and a American all go wandering through a rainforest when all of a sudden three man jumps out of the bushes and says "Halt! You are on our sacred land you must be killed and turned into a canoe. But we are not savages so you may choose how to die.". The man from France say...

A Frenchman, a Cuban, and a Texan are seated together on a plane...

The pilot announces an engine failure in their small commuter craft. Shortly after, the second engine fails. The pilot, in an attempt to drop dead weight instructs all luggage and passenger items to be thrown overboard.


It isn't enough, they're not gonna be able to glide to safety. Th...

4 mathematicians are one a plane..

One is a Frenchman, one is a Englishman, one is an American, and the other is a Mexican. They get an announcement from the captain that the plane is going down. They all do some math together and find that if 3 of them jump, then everyone else would be saved. The Frenchmen stands up and walks to the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Brit, a Frenchman, and an American are shipwrecked at sea...

They wash up on an island where they are captured by a tribe of cannibals. The Chief of the tribe says to the three men,"We are going to sacrifice all of you, eat you, and use your skins for a canoe. We will allow you each to choose how you die." The Brit asks for poison. The Chief hands him a cup a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After their ship wrecked...

...a Frenchman, an Englishman, and an American washed up on a small island. Not long after, they were captured by savages and forced to kneel. The chief says "We will torture you, kill you, feed your meat to our dogs, and use your skin for our canoes! Any last requests?" The Frenchman requests a kni...

An Englishman, a Frenchman and a Polak

An Englishman, a Frenchman and a Polak were exploring the seven seas when they came across an island inhabited by cannibals. After eating their victims, these cannibals would use their victim's skin to make canoes.

They were captured, and each one was given the option to kill himself, and ch...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Brit, a Frenchie, and a redneck are captured by savages on an island.....

The savages tell them, "we are going to kill you and use your skin to make canoes. However, before we kill you, you may have one last request"

The brit goes first, "I'd like some poison please." He gets the poison, shouts "God save the queen" drinks it and dies.

The Frenchie goes next,...

4 men entered a plane...

...an Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and a Texan and were flying across the country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says " We're having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one of yo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Englishman, a Frenchman, and an American are captured by the enemy army

The army is on the move, keeping the prisoners in their forced march. They get to a river, but their raft has a large hole in it. In the war-torn field, there is nothing to fix the boat, so they decide to mend it with the bodies of the prisoners.

In a moment of mercy, the army general deci...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So there's this terrible shipwreck, with only three survivors - a French guy, a British guy, and a guy from New Jersey.

So there's a terrible shipwreck, and there are only three survivors that wash up onto a desert island - a French guy, a British guy, and a guy from New Jersey. They're immediately captured by cannibals and spend days locked in a cage, awaiting their fate. Finally the Chief of the cannibals comes t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Frenchman, Spaniard and an American are exploring the wild west...

During their adventures they are taken hostage by a band of Indians. The Indians tell them that they are going to kill them and use their skins to make canoes, but if they wish they may kill themselves in a manner of their choosing as to retain their dignity, and die with honor. The Spaniard seeing ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Japanese man, a Frenchman and an American so on a vacation in Africa

Out of nowhere during a safari the 3 men are kidnapped by a tribe. The tribe explains to each man that although they must die they might take some comfort in knowing none of their body will be wasted. Hair will be made into baskets, bones used as weapons, and their skin will be stretched out to make...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A englishman, frenchman and pollock are on safari........

In the deepest, darkest pits of the african jungles. They are sitting at camp when suddenly they are attacked by cannibals, beaten, tied and taken back to their village.

They awaken all tied to trees and the cannibal leader walks up to the englishman and says "Were going to skin you alive, ea...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You might have heard this one before, but an Englishman, a Frenchman, and an American....

Are captured by cannibals. They are brought before the leader who says,

"In honor of our Gods and the Great Festival of Watchachoochoo, we will witness your suicide tomorrow at noon. We will then make a canoe from your skin to float down the holy river towards the sun."

The next day ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Joke about Cannibalism

Three men are stranded in the jungle: a French man, A Japanese man, and an American.
In the jungle, they are found and captured by a tribe of Cannibals.
They are taken to a tent in the village and left for many day, until they are skinny and weak. Finally, the chief of the cannibals comes to ...

An Australian, a Frenchman and an Englishman are hiking in the amazon.

an Australian, a Frenchman and an Englishman are hiking in the amazon. they are approached by a group of very angry natives who are appalled that the travellers are hacking through their sacred forrest. they subdue the travellers and take them to the chief. the chief says:

"how dare you cut t...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.