UPJOKE
awarenessfmribryan jennettthalamusarousaldeatheuthanasiacomacerebral cortexsleepstimulusbrainstemgastrointestinalstrokevergence

Vegetative State Jokes

BREAKING: North Korean leader in a vegetative state following surgery.

They've begun calling him Kim Jong Un-Responsive

Got a good handjob in a vegetative state.

Cream of the crop.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Vegetative State

The other night, my wife and I were watching TV when the newscaster announced the death of Dr. Jack Kervorkian.

So we started to talk about suicide, assisted suicide, and the right to death. The discussion led to being hooked up to a machine that was keeping you alive.

I told her, "Hon...

Did you hear that Kim Jong Un is in a vegetative state after surgery?

Well… he always did kind of look like a potato

What do you say to a Mexican guy in a vegetative state?

Coma estas?

An English man was left in a vegetative state after being hit by a car, bus, tractor and trailer.

It was an Oxford Coma.

I told my grand kids that I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle...

So they unplugged my computer and threw out my bourbon..

A man and his wife was sitting in the living room

Husband:Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.

His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all of his beer.

What do you call it when a vegan is in a food coma?

They’re in a vegetative state

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This pasta has AoT level writing, by the time you get to the last line everything you previously read will get whole new meaning. Enjoy

.

>!gf is prego!<

>!we like to get kinky anyways!<

>!one night things get particularly saucy!<

>!i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird fucking chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights!<

>!wtf it's red everywhere and she's ob...

Life support issues

Last night I was in the living room, talking to my wife about life. In-between, we talked about the idea of living or dying. I told her : 'Never let me live in a vegetative state, totally dependent on machines and liquids from a bottle. If you see me in that state I want you to disconnect all the co...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is golfing and gets a call from his mother-in-law...

“Steve! Thank God! Sharon’s been in a terrible accident! She’s at the hospital! Drop what you’re doing and get right down there!”

“Oh my God! My poor wife!”

He gets ready to leave and thinks- “I’m on the 17th green and 4 shots under par. She’s really in the best hands. I’ll hurry up ...

Brock Turner sounds like a dish made from broccoli and turnips...

Which is fitting because he prefers his women to be in vegetative states!

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.