UPJOKE
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Indecisive Jokes

"Indecisive" is my favourite word.

Actually, no it isn't.

What do you call an indecisive potato?

A hesitater.

Did you know bees become indecisive after April?

They become maybees.

I’ve been told that I’m indecisive.

Maybe I am, maybe I’m not.

I used to think I was indecisive.

But, now I'm not so sure.

What does an indecisive person wear?

Flip Flops.

I hate being indecisive.

Or do I?

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My therapist just told me I’m bipolar and indecisive.

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

The raven was indecisive....

He said, "Probably not. But don't quote me on that."


*Sorry, that's was a Poe joke.*

What do you call a strong and indecisive person?

Mighty!

My Girlfriend said I was indecisive.

I said I wasn’t sure about that.

Why are sailors so indecisive...?

Because they're always far from shore

I’m a pretty Indecisive person

Wait, maybe. I think I am, actually maybe not I don’t know.

My biggest weakness is probably indecisiveness

I think...

Why is the goddess Shiva so indecisive?

Well, on the *one* hand…

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I'm pretty indecisive.

Wait, no, I'm forgetful.
Shit I can't remember.

Why was the mermaid couple so indecisive?

Because they both refused to wear the pants in the relationship.

People say I am indecisive

I can neither approve nor Deny this fact

I used to be indecisive...

But now I'm not sure.

The indecisive rower...

...couldn't choose either oar.

An indecisive hot dog got a bun pregnant.

He didn't know what condoment

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I was going to get "indecisive bastard" tattooed on my body.

But I didn't know where to. Maybe my arm? Or my back? My leg might look good.

Actually, I'll get a butterfly.

What do you call an indecisive toddler?

Maybe Shark

What footwear is indecisive?

Flip-flops

Why couldn't the indecisive man make broth?

There are a bouillon different ways to do it!

I was asked if my problem was making wrong decisions or being indecisive.

I wasn't really sure so I said it was indecision.

Why aren't Mexicans ever indecisive?

Because if they're on the fence too long they get caught.

They say I’m too indecisive to be a tennis umpire

but I still haven’t ruled it out.

Why are indecisive miners the worst?

because all day they deal with ores.

Someone asked me if I was more indecisive or anti-climactic.

I guess if I had to choose...I'd definitely say I'm one or the other.

There was an indecisive buddha...

...his mantra was 'ummmm'

What do you call an indecisive German Shepard

K Nein

My friends keep telling me I'm too indecisive

And I'm not sure how I feel about it.

I went for a job interview today...

"Describe yourself in one word."
"Indecisive, maybe. I'm not sure."

My Mexican friend is so indecisive

He's always on the fence

My sister is really indecisive when choosing anything. So when I bought her that red phone cover she wanted she returned it and got a blue one, then returned that one for the red one again!

I knew that would be the case.

Man I hate organic chemistry

It can be so indecisive. Whenever I ask oxygen if it prefers a methyl group or an ethyl group it always responds: “Ether”.

Likely only Malaysians will get it but since I always forget jokes that pop in my mind, I've decided to just post it here

A very frustrated Malaysian wife looks at her indecisive Spanish husband and says, "Jose, if you don't decide on a name right now, for our still unnamed 2 year old son, I'm giving him up for adoption!"

With a smirk on his face, Jose yells back, "Fine honey, you decide then, Juan or Don Juan ....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My doctor gave me 6 months, so I shot him.

## The judge gave me 60 years!


 

 

 


### My (other) favorite one liners:

1. I’ve had amnesia for as long as I can remember.

1. What do you call a cheap circumcision? A ripoff.

1. French tanks have five rever...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A husband and wife lay in bed watching tv together

with the remote in his hand, he continuously flicks between 2 channels. one features men fishing while the other contains a lot of sex scenes.

after watching one for about a minute, he flicks back to the other. the wife, who is now annoyed with his indecisiveness, demands that he choose one s...

Headline news say British Prime Minister Theresa May Resign...

She is so indecisive that she can’t even make up her mind about resignation.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Paraprosdokians

* Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

* The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

* Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

* If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

* We never really g...

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Brilliant One-liners

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.

Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.

I used to be indecisive....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Theme 3: 1 Liners, Words of Wisdom

*I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

*Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

*Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in ...

Work got cancelled for two weeks, so I go to the grocery store on the way home.

I’ve seen all the news, lots of Facebook pictures of empty shelves, but I was not prepared for this madness. There’s a line of like five people by the frozen goods aisle, trying to get pizza.

So I decide to go get some ramen. I know it’s not the best, but it keeps forever and I’ve been perfec...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My 8 year old son made me laugh with a dad joke...

We were trying to decide where to eat, I offered up Buffalo Wild Wings, but my son and daughter were being indecisive. I finally said ok guys, make up your mind My son replied with a cocky grin "C'mon Mom we'll just wing it"...he then burst into laughter for five minutes....his fathers humor is real...

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